Defiant 15 Year Old DD
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|Sun, 09-23-2012 - 11:54pm|
I posted a few weeks ago about finding out my 15 year old dd having sex for the first time. It's been a long few weeks, but trying hard to keep that under control. She has the appointment this Thursday with the Clinical Nurse for birth control education and options.
My daughter has always been a good girl, despite having ADHD and being on medication since the age of 8. Up until she started with the boyfriend and going out with him, and other friends as well, she was an A/B student, athlete (dancer and cheerleader), and always respected her parents (dad died when she was 10).
The defiance has been getting worse over the last 6 months or so. She lies about where she is going, she lies about who she is with, she lies about homework, and more. I feel like everything she tells me is a lie and I never know when to believe what comes out of her mouth, including when she tells me she has no homework, or she's done her homework. She is very disrespectful to me, and questions everything I ask of her or tell her, she fights with me, argues with me. I can't take it anymore! Tonight she asked me if she should take her shower in the morning of before bed, and I said before bed because the shower disturbs me in the morning. You would have thought I told her to stab herself in the heart! My answer brought on a huge fight, and I finally had to tell her to just take her shower or to go sleep in the basement because I was done listening to her scream and disrespect me. Last night she went out with a few friends... they were supposed to get a ride home from her friends mother. Turns out they decided to walk home (10:00 at night), which I don't allow. She knows I don't allow her to walk at night, and if she needs a ride, to call me. I spoke with her about 9ish, and she said the girls mother was coming for them soon (they were at the football field for a Cow Pie event). I called her again about 1/2 hour later and she said they were still there, and the girls mother was still coming. I called her again at 10:15, and she said the girl decided to walk home and she didn't know the mother wasn't coming because the girl kept saying her mother was coming, so she started walking home herself. I asked her why she didn't call me, and she said she knew I'd be mad (I told her I was coming to get her). Then she called me a few minutes later to say they had walked back to the girls house and her mother was bringing her home. I texted the girls mother and she said they were on their way. I really have no idea where she was, or who she was with. I think she was with "loverboy" and then went back to her girlfriends house later for cover. They cover each others asses!
So basically when she leaves this house, other than for school, I have no idea where she's going, who she's with, or what she's doing! I just don't know what to do anymore! I'm so over fighting with her all the time, I'm so tired of hearing her tell me I should trust her. How can she even think I can trust her when she lies to me all the time! I don't get it!
I've taken her phone away, again, and I will ground her this coming weekend, but it's been done before, and it doesn't seem to help. We do attend therapy together every other week, and we talk about these issues, and we seem to come to clear understandings and agreements while there, but as soon as we walk about the door, it's all down the toilet!