Defiant teen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Defiant teen
6
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 9:26pm
My son is destroying our family. He and his father are always at odds causing me to have to referee or take sides. My son has become so disrespectful. My husband takes his cell to punish him. My husband also reads his text msg. I have mix feeling about him reading the msg. Am I wrong for not supporting my husband on this? I'm at my Whits end with this I don't no what to do. I may loose my son an my husband
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
In reply to: lwg1229
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 9:42pm

Hugs to you. The teen years can be tough. You don't say how old your ds is - is he 13 or 18 or somewhere in between? Has the disrespect started recently or has he always been a difficult child? IMO cell phones aren't a neccessity - nice to have if your teen is driving but I don't really see any need for a 13-15 year old to have one. Is he sending/receiving inappropriate text messages? If so and if you guys are paying for his cell phone I don't see anything wrong with monitoring the usage.

Pam
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: lwg1229
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 10:07pm
I agree with Pam. And your son is not destroying your family--you and your husband are. You and your husband MUST present a united front. As long as your son knows you disagree, he will ALWAYS turn the two of you on each other. Go behind closed doors, or go to a counselor, but BEFORE you approach your son, figure out TOGETHER how you will parent, what you will and will not tolerate, and what are appropriate consequences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
In reply to: lwg1229
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:47am
My son just turned 18 and is a senior in hs. The defiance has gotten worse the older he has gotten. He is in a very unhealthy relationship with a young lady that is causing to slack on home and school responsibilities. We are concerns about his future. He gets really angry when we discuss with him about distancing himself from this young lady. He has said some really hurtful things to my husband and myself. My heart is rely broken. I just can't give up on him. I just don't no what to do.
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: lwg1229
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 11:26am

Stop attacking the girlfriend.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
In reply to: lwg1229
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 3:42pm

That was the first thing that jumped out at me too - "my son is destroying my family" - and my first thought - "no he's not, the parents are by disagreeing with each other."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: lwg1229
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 9:46pm

The posters above gave good and sound advice, in my opinion.

My guess is that you are like most parents in that you would walk on hot coals, crawl on broken glass, and lick toilet seats down at the Greyhound bus station if it would help your child.