Does anyone have a teenage son who harms himself when he's angry?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2012
Does anyone have a teenage son who harms himself when he's angry?
6
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 11:38pm

my son is 18 and living with his grandmother, his dad's mom.

Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this with your son!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2012

he won't go with any of us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2012
What a difficult situation for you and your son. I do not have any BTDT advice.

Is it at all possible to try to engage him in an activity/conversation that would not center on all of the difficulties that he is currently experiencing? Maybe a movie/dinner/sporting event? Though it will not immediately solve your current poroblem, it might help re-establish a relationship with him. I know you must be scared and worried about your son. Hugs to you and your boy :)
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

It is also possible that the GIRLFRIEND is inflicting the black eyes, and the root of your son's reluctance to talk is shame.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2012

I'm so sorry to hear about this tough situation you're in! It can be very heartbreaking to feel helpless when you're child clearly needs to release emotions but is unwilling to do so. I went through something similar as a teen and maybe my insight will help.

The commenter's have had great replies but I still want to throw in some ideas.

1. How frequently do you see each other? Try taking some quality time together. Go get coffee, spend time with him so he knows he's not alone with whatever grief he's dealing with. Perhaps just seeing how you're interested in just being with him will help in come around. If he doesn't like it, push it the first few times. Tell him that you'll just take an hour each time and treat him to a doughnut.

2. Talk to his grandmother. Does he talk to her? She may also just be able to offer you insight into the specifics of the fights he has with his girlfriend. Be the casual investigator.

3. If he doesn't already read it, send him the website postsecret.com. It's a beautiful website started by Frank Warren. It started as a community art project in Maryland where Frank went around town handing out blank postcards. He then asked each person to return the postcards with their secrets on them. It was totally anonymous and turned out to be extremely cathartic for all the participants. It's now a world-wide phenomenon (Frank updates the site every Sunday) that also advocates for suicide prevention. While he might not be suicidal, perhaps the site would encourage him to create his own postcards for healing purposes.

I hope those ideas help you in some way. Please come back and update us soon.

- Amy

~Amy Kelly~ Parent eSource Founder parentesource.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2012

I'm so sorry to hear of the circumstances