Okay this will probably be long.
"The bio-mom hasn't had custody for 14 years, hasn't even seen her dd for 7 years, the girl obviously has psychological issues, and child services is involved.
I got the number for the worker, just left him a message. So going to see how all this sorts out. I just got to find a way to get them to help bring her out here if we can find her. I just can't let her go back. The facebook page, her step mom is calling her a liar and a gold digger, yelling at her that she doesn't love her siblings. Even calling her a pathological liar. I know my daughter isn't doing much better in the post, but there is a difference between a 17 year old and a 'mother' figure. I mean she ends the argument saying "The truth hurts and that's the end of it!" like.. what are we, back in high school? *sigh* I just keep wanting to bang my head in the wall reading that. It's just crazy.
Thanks for hearing my issue, makes me feel better to talk it out with someone who can listen and offer advice, I just don't know who to go to with this besides my fiance and ex husband(not her father, her father and I never married)
The bio-mom hasn't had custody for 14 years, hasn't even seen her dd for 7 years, the girl obviously has psychological issues, and child services is involved.
If social services is already involved, and they have an open case I'd bet they are not going to approve of her moving in w/ her BF--is there a way that you could get the name of the social worker & contact that person & say you would be willing to take her?
If her boyfriend was 30 I'd help her dad do something, but to me 20 isn't as big of a deal at her age. Sure ideally I would love her home, not being in a sexual relationship, but considering I was a teen once, and my dad didn't stop me from having sex either, I'm a little more realistic about it.
I don't know weither to believe her dad or not, I like to, he claims he isn't trying to get her boyfriend in trouble, that social services want him to press charges. He said they told him that if she winds up pregnant before 18 they will take it out of his hands and charge her boyfriend anyways. Never heard of the state doing that before.
I guess the state got involved because my daughter and her boyfriend contacted them saying her parents were unfit parents, and her dad said reason my daughter could get her younger siblings taken is because she was cutting herself and left a razor in a text book from her school and were like her younger sister could find it and possibly cut herself. (not that she did)
Right now my main concern is she is safe, she gets help for her obvious problems, like hurting herself, etc. It's all scary and I wish her dad would have at least given me the curteosy of keeping me informed all these years, but they chose to just chew me out on the phone the whole time.
Reason they have her is I was depressed when she was younger, my house turned into a mess, and it was deemed she would be better living with him, and I agree, I was a mess going through a ton of problems, (not drugs, etc, just depression). I moved where I am as an attempt to help that problem, and I've slowly over the years begun healing and no longer feel like life is crap. I've had a great support system here, and I have no one there, both my parents passed away by the time I was 30. I tried to explain until I was blue in the face that moving here was so I could be better for her, but they hated me before and hated me more for moving, so it's been a difficult 7 years trying to stay in contact and maintain a relationship with her.
Whether or not the boyfriend is in trouble depends on a LOT of things, primarily at social services.
Maybe you could contact a lawyer in the state she lives in for a phone consult.
I was going to say the same thing as the OP - I know here in IL the age of consent is 17 but in 10 or 11 states it's 18. Hugs to you - it's got to be very difficult being so far away and not having been a big part of her life for so long. It's great that she is reaching out to you now and that you're reconnecting. Her dad and step mom seem to be quite a piece of work; just try to focus on your dd and how best to help her now, though. Hang in there and keep us posted!
Well the Age of consent there is 18, I can't find anything on age differences, if that even factors into anything.