New Here...need advice about 16 year old daughter

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2012
New Here...need advice about 16 year old daughter
12
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 10:46pm

I am new here and am really need some advice regarding my 16 1/2 year old daughter (junior in high school).

Let me start from the beginning.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007

I can completely relate to what you've shared. I just posted about my situation, in fact (Don't Approve

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999

Just tossing this out there - you've heard the phrase "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" and "that which we want the most is what we can't have"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2012

I spoke to the boyfriend's dad and he confirmed everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 10:00am

I think counseling is a good idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2012
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 10:13am

Yes she IS our main focus and most of it has been caused by the boyfriend and pot.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 11:42am

Raising teenagers is sooo hard and I know I have made parenting mistakes too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Tue, 02-28-2012 - 12:11pm

Hand's down, raising teenagers is the HARDEST job on the planet! I take my job as a mother very seriously. I will never allow my daughter to compromise the morals and values she's been raised with for the sake of some boy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

Hi and welcome to the board. I understand your concern about her drop in grades, lack of attention to appearance, lying, etc. And I can understand your frustration with the dad but unless you know him well he's probably not going to tell you all about his son's bad behaviors. I do agree with Rose that completely forbidding the relationship may backfire. BTDT more than once with my boys who are 21 and 24. You liked this boy for 10 months and even took him out of town with you. Where does he live now? You said he was kicked out by his dad and his mom is deceased. I'd certainly not let your dd go over there if there's no supervision but you might let him continue to come to your house. As far as if they want to go to a movie or out somewhere else - you can let your dd know that that won't come until you can trust her again. Counselling will probably help you all communicate better but I wouldn't go in to it with the idea that the therapist is miraculously going to make your dd 'see the light'. Good luck and keep us posted.

Pam
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

I totally agree with Kelly, and her method is the way we handled our dds when they were kids. We met the parents of EVERY friend they had, and got to know them--from the time they BEGAN having friends until they graduated HS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I'm kind of confused--you said that a year ago this boy was suspended from school for smoking pot--well how do you know that he didn't stop doing it because of that?

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