Not-quite-teenager troubles. ( Advice / In site please! )

Hugs to you. The puberty/preteen years can certainly be trying as kids start pulling away, the hormones are working overtime, etc. But your dd seems to have much more than than the typical 'teen attitude'. She seems to have a lot of anger issues to be hitting her dad (is it her dad - you refer to him as 'my husband') and and destroying walls. Did she hit those, too? Has she always been a difficult/strong willed