Out Of Control Son

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2011
Out Of Control Son
5
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 11:42pm
I have a 16 yearold son who is going on 17 in the next few monthes. In the last 7 years of our lives there have been many changes. First his mother and I split up and divorced in 05 and after my second marriage failed in 08 things just seemed to get worse. This last year his mother moved to Ark. In December before Christmas. Leaving him and his sister behind for me to take care of that was and always has been fine with me. But we then moved to AZ. In Jan. For my employment leaving behind everything we all have ever known. Over the last 4 monthea he has changed into someone I really don't even know he wont come home on time. He has Reyes to hit me a few times he is very disrespectful not just to me but also to his sister. And it all started after he met his girlfriend. I have had talks with him told him we were going to move back to CA or he would have to move to his mothers in Ark because he can't stay here along. He says he will run away if I take him back to CA or if I send him to his mothers. I am lost on what to do I have even gone as far as telling him if he ran away he would be put in jail he don't care at all. Help please.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 11:19am

I would suggest counseling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:33pm

My sons personality seemed to change as soon as he got his first serious GF too....and we've been having a LOT of difficlties, so I know how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2011
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:47pm
I have tryed the counseling for over two years and with no help. I sent him to visit his mom back in June for three weeks but he would have rather been home. The funny thing is every time he gets into trouble the first person he calls is his mom and tells her he wants to live with her but when we start to make it happen for him he changes his mind. His mother told him the last time she couldn't take it any more and was tired of him crying wolf he does things to try and get me to kick him out but I wont do that and I have told him that. I wont give up on my son like his mother did. I sometimes think to anger he brings to me is mentioned for his mom but I'm not sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 5:00pm

You could have very well hit the nail on the head there--maybe he feels abandoned by his mom but he can't get mad at her since she's not there, so you are the lucky one.

Avatar for scoutnut
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 4:12pm

Has he been in counseling since you moved to AZ in Jan, 2011?

The counselor(s) he was seeing in CA are no help to him in AZ. Also, if one counselor is not working for him, look for one that does. Very seldom is the first counselor you see the one that is a perfect fit for your son, and your family.

He, and you, need a professional to help sort thru what is going on in your lives.