should my teen finish school?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
should my teen finish school?
20
Sun, 01-29-2012 - 11:14am

I have had a problem with my daughter for about 4 years now with truancy issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:32am
Well, thank you all for the help I listened to every word and I am going to let her finish if she wants to finish. Its Monday morning after school hours and she's in bed (waiting on my 5-10 times of going in and out of her room begging her to wake up), after I worked all night so she can have a ride to school. School has started and she has no intention of getting up and getting herself dressed because its all talk, no action here. I think she will have to learn the hardest way possible to understand that if she wants something she's going to have to work for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 3:36pm

That's kind of what I was saying before--you shouldn't have to be going in so many times & begging her to go to school.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 6:37pm
I strongly suspect this child has an UNtreated emotional and/or physical disorder. Children have an inborn desire to please. That is why they will still cling to parents who physically and emotionally abuse them. When that normal desire does NOT work, there is a REASON.
Both my older dd and myself have a VERY difficult time waking, and functioning upon waking. I will sleep thru my alarms, dh getting up, turning on the lights in the bedroom, showering, getting dressed, and calling the dogs off the bed to go for a walk. When I have to get up before 9am, I need multiple alarms, and have someone call me on the phone -- several times -- to make sure I haven't fallen asleep at the kitchen table. When my kids lived at home, until they were 21 and 25, *I* would get up an hour before they were to get up, so that I would be functioning by the time THEY were supposed to get up. I also gave them their meds when I got up, so it would be in their bloodstreams by the time they got up. I also did not just call them. I went in the rooms, pulled off the covers, and physically pulled them out of bed. Then I would go back to make sure they'd gotten into the bathroom. I did not say, "They SHOULD be able to get up by themselves". The simple fact that they did not, was enough to make me do what was necessary to help them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 9:43pm

Interesting--do you know why you can't wake up?

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 11:36pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 11:18am

That's pretty scary (falling asleep at the wheel).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 6:34pm

I find it interesting that you say you feel like you're suffocating while using a machine that is supposed to help you breathe.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 7:34pm

CPAP means "Continuous Positive Airway Pressure".

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2012
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 11:01am
Today, she decided that she doesn't want to go back to school and wants to take the GED test, because she doesn't want to keep getting in trouble for missing. I don't know if the court will even allow her to do that at this point or not. She is 17 and will be 18 at the end of the month. She has been psychiatrically checked and they say she has a defiant disorder. On the weekends she doesn't have a problem waking up, in the summer she doesn't have a problem waking up, its only during the school months that she doesn't want to get up. she sets her alarm and turns it off at least 3 or more times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2012
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 3:52pm
unfortunatly in a perfect world there would be 3 teachers teaching in each classroom, what happens is that kids get left out, the method the teacher is teaching in doens't work for them, so they get bored, lose interest and the mor ethey fall behind the more their self esteem begins to lack.

Just think how it would be if you got into a classroom and a teacher had written 5 blackboards full of notes and wants you to write them all down in 40 minutes...but while you are on the 2nd board he's already erasing and re-writing the first board.

Not sure about the wkaing up part..but where I live the adult educaiton center allows students of any age 18+ to take their courses at their pace and in the privacy of their own home, with the teacher being able for help or inclass study specific days of the week.

IT's sad, we all want what is best for our kids and to continously fight them day and night to attend, get decent grades, stay out of trouble becomes tiring.

Do the best you can, keep some rules in effect and then make some goals along with her. IT's helpful at times to concentrate on the positive when delaing with a teenager that has constantly heard negativity, from their peers, parents and professionals...try some positive reinforcement..such as...if you complete your schooling, just think how much quicker you could be......

all the best I am sure there are some parents of teenagers that want to jump out a window on some days.