Teen daughter and a 40 year old online

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Teen daughter and a 40 year old online
58
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 9:06pm

Please help!

My daughter just told me that she has been communicating online with a 40 year old married man. Last year, he sent her a vibrator and a webcam in the mail for her 16th birthday. She thinks there is nothing wrong with this "relationship" and they tell each other "I love you". he wants to come and visit her. I am completely freaked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 8:01am
allusernamesgone wrote:
I came here looking for informed support, not uninformed support or comfort.
If it makes anyone feel better to say silly stuff like, "Do something now, don't let her out of your sight, call law enforcement, have him arrested" then fine, haha, but it's not helpful as either comfort or informed support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 8:54am

I sure wish I was some kind of strange person (troll) without a life who likes to enrage people online, lol. I was referring to Amish country.

I think that if the people who say call cops and do something and stuff like that would just fully read my posts, they would have their answers and not say stuff like that. It doesn't have alot to do with prior knowledge but that if you care enough to post in someone's thread about a certain problem then you should probably fully read the process so far and the laws that apply that I posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 12:00pm

You have a very odd perspective on this situation--if no one cared, then no one would have responded to your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 7:26pm

Thank you! I'll take odd over crazy or troll any day, lol. My daughter has Medicaid so I can find a counselor. Not all take Medicaid but enough do. I have no insurance. I could qualify for Medicaid also but I would have to turn my child support case over to DSS and get my ex murderously mad at me becuase they will make him pay more so I think, for now, I will just stay alive and uninsured. He can intimidate the hell out of me but this pervert is not going to!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 10:01pm

WOW, this is a complex one

The folks who post here are your friends and are well meaning.

Here in the south, we refer to those adult toys as "marital aids."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Wed, 09-07-2011 - 6:46pm

Still waiting for the gears of justice to do their turning. We went to our first counseling session and daughter got her driver license. Her car is equipped with a secret GPS tracker that I can monitor and she started college in August. I asked her if there were any cute guys in her class and she said that she wasn't looking. I asked her why and she said, "Because I'm in a relationship."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 11:42am

ARRESTED!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 11:47am

Great news! Too bad he was able to make bail and didn't have to sit in jail longer. Maybe it will be enough to scare him away from trying to contact your dd again although like you said psychos rarely seem to acknowledge they're doing anything wrong...

Pam
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 12:47pm

Thanks for coming back and telling us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 3:38pm

I'll keep you informed! Anyone care to take up a collection for me? I may have to testify and will need