Teen daughter and a 40 year old online

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Teen daughter and a 40 year old online
58
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 9:06pm

Please help!

My daughter just told me that she has been communicating online with a 40 year old married man. Last year, he sent her a vibrator and a webcam in the mail for her 16th birthday. She thinks there is nothing wrong with this "relationship" and they tell each other "I love you". he wants to come and visit her. I am completely freaked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 8:42am

Oh shoot, she found out. It was my fault- she left for school but came back because she forgot her math book and I had my computer screen up, sending an email to my sister about it. She had been crying because she hasn't heard from him and of course, now, she hates me. She is crying alot but DID go back to school/college yesterday and a club meeting and she went to school this morning also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 10:55am

Is your DD in therapy for this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 11:49am
yes
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 5:52pm

Yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 1:11am
I haven't posted to you, but have been following your story.

I admire the way you took the horse by the reins and did what you had to do. Kudos to you.

And thanks for the updates....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 9:17am

Thanks Cat alley!:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 9:40am

Thanks for the updates. The Aspergers could explain alot as far as her lack of real life social connections. I believe we've had a few moms here whose kids were diagnosed on the Aspie spectrum. That's great that your dd has been able to keep her grades up through all this. Sounds like he really had her brainwashed to have her still thinking that they are going to get married...

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 1:56pm

Thanks for caring!:-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 3:03pm

Many gentle hugs to you. I can feel your sadness and weariness right through the computer screen. If you've read any of the threads above (one in particular) you'll see that it's not uncommon to just get worn out and want to just give up when your child is being especially demanding. When our older son got out of treatment the first time for his eating disorder dh and I left 2 days later for a 4 day trip to Mexico! Just when we probably should have been around to help him transition back into eating at home and such - but we were just SO tired. Sounds like it's worse for you because you have no one to share the burdens with. I can't remember from your earlier posts - is your dd's father in the picture and has he been taking part in trying to get this jerk? Do you have any friends in your area that you can confide in? Of course with working so much and going to school and trying to take care of your kids you probably don't have a lot of time to cultivate friendships... Hang in there and please feel free to come here any time to vent/chat/share in joys that will hopefully be coming now that this guy's been busted...

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2011
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 1:53pm

Sometimes I think I have replied here to find out I haven't. Hmmmm.