Teenagers and the internet

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Teenagers and the internet
6
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 7:13pm

My teenage kids are always constantly on the computer and sometimes I catch them chatting online really late at night. They say they are just chatting with friends, and I trust them to a certain extent, but  I am still worried because all the talks about online predators. I'm considering maybe using a keylogger software to track my kids online searches, but I'm afraid this may affect our relationship and trust. What should I do? I'm in a dilemma!

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 8:15pm

Instead of spying on them,control their computer use.  There is no reason they should constantly be on the 'puter, or be on it at all hours of the night.  Unless your kids are 18, and paying for all of it themselves, I would simply state the new rule, and confiscate all the devices after a certain hour, returning them only after the kids are home from school, and allowing use for only a limited time.  That's what I did with my kids, and they did not die.  Of course, I realize computers are ubiquitous now--in the phones, the Ipods, the Kindles, etc, -- but that does not mean parents throw in the towel.  We regulate alcohol consumption, and driving a car--this is just as necessary.

BTW, how are their grades, and how able are they to get up in the morning?   

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 10:04pm

The only computer we have at home is downstairs in my office so we really didn't have the problem of them being on the computer very late at night cause they were in bed.  Now I say they but I really mean my now 23 yr old DD,  She would do her Hw on the computer while IMing with friends, which was popular then because most people didn't text.  Now I also have a 17 yr old son who asked for a laptop but it's more that I can't afford one than that I worry about him being on line.  He's usually going to bed between 10:00 & 10:30 because he has to get up really early for school and he has sleep problems so if he doesn't go to bed early, it's very difficult to wake him up.  For some reason I never worried about my kids and predators--maybe it was because it was really drilled into their heads (by me & school) not to have contact on iine with people they didn't know in real life. If they have FB pages, I think the best way to find out if for you to get an account & insist on being their FB friend. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2013
Tue, 02-05-2013 - 2:44pm
Even if you are a facebook friend they can block you from seeing everything. Personally, I used the parental controls on the computer and allowed them only so many hours and certain websites, scholarly mainly. That way they could not be in sites I didn't approve of. However, we, as parents, also have to acknowledge that the internet is not an active part of the students life through school links, and tutors as well. Vigilance is imperative. I have also used grades (good grades more time, bad grades less time) as incentive. Either way, you as the parent need to take control. Set limits and while your child may buck at first, don't give in. He/She will come around.