Thanks...and hanging in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Thanks...and hanging in there
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 2:26pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 1:46pm

I do think you have to do what feels right for you.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 9:16am
Assuming you have wireless, you could always disconnect the hub when you want. And if not, remove the wired port from her bedroom so at least it's only got access where you can monitor. That'd give you internet control while she's at home (unless there's enough others in your neighborhood who have strong enough unsecured access...)

I wouldn't negotiate with the cleaning of the room - that can be her sanctum and you/she can close the door. And I'd say you can earn money for the hair color - and give her a list of special tasks (not regular chores; those should just be done as a part of the family) that she can do to work for money like that. In the past I've given ds a list of what extra work he can do, and what money is associated with each thing. Obviously you have to realize she may not be interested in all the work so ANY of it is bonus that you wouldn't have to do - thus again make those tasks above and beyond what NEEDS to be done. That has worked well for us because then he picks and chooses, feels in control (vs. being told to do this or that) and earns what he decides he feels up to doing.

Good luck.