Adult yelling at my son

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
Adult yelling at my son
7
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 10:04am

I have only posted here a couple of times in the past but I am really upset about an incident that occurred yesterday and would appreciate other opinions. I want to know if I am overreacting.

My first grade son had a soccer scrimmage yesterday. His team consists of eleven 6 and 7 year olds and a couple of 8 year olds. Ok, so my son's team won the scrimmage by a good margin and at the end of the game the boys have to high five the other team and generally say "good game" or "good job" to the other teammates. The coach of my son's team and the other coach (call him Ted) lined up the boys to do the high fives. The boys all filed along nicely high-fiving each other, saying "good game" until one of the boys said "bad game" and then the other boys started copying "bad game" just being goofy, noone was upset or anything of that nature. Then Ted, (the coach on the team who lost) flipped out. He told my son's team to "GET OVER HERE! So my son and all of his teammates had to get over to him, then he told them to "sit down!!" in a really angry voice. So they got down on the ground and then Ted proceeded to yell at them. He was red faced yelling like someone with road rage would do. He was hollering at the boys that this was "unacceptable"!!, "never ever ever do that again"!!, etc. He went on for a good 3 to 4 minutes railing it in to them. Then he had the kids line up again and re-do the high five, this time saying "good game" only. The referee came over to Ted and told him that it was actually one of the boys on *Ted's* team who said "bad game" and to calm down. Did Ted apologize to my son's team for blaming the wrong side? No. Did Ted then round up his team and bawl them out like he just did my son's team? No. Not that I'd want him to but no.

I'm really upset about this because I feel that this grown man took all of his frustrations out on these innocent boys and publicly shamed them (The game took place inside a huge indoor field with lots of people watching). I feel that this was abusive and wrong and really upsets me. Am I overreacting to this? How would you feel about this if it was your child?

Thank you!
-L.R.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2008
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 9:27pm
I'd report the coach to the league, it doesn't sound like he's fit to coach young children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 7:02am
You said it ABUSIVE behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 2:15pm
That's

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 2:01pm

Thanks for responding.

My son's coach was rounding up some balls that were kicked off of the field during the game. The parents were all behind a glass wall and were rounding up their kids at that point. Apparently the coach told Ted "enough" when he figured out what was going on. And the referee told Ted to stop and that it was one of Ted's team members who was saying "bad game." Ted did not apologize..

The silver lining to this: I had a nice heart to heart with my son about good sportsmanship and about adults behaving badly :-)

I'm very proud of my son. He really is a good kid and really "gets" why good sportsmanship is so important.

Thanks for all replies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 1:35pm
Fisrt question, where was your son's coach?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 9:37am
This is totally unacceptable.

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Avatar for jacindaanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 12:47pm
First, I would be upset also. However, I'm not sure what I would have done either, given the circumstances. Did you know that it was a kid on the other team, before he started yelling? I think I would have, or made my DH, point that out to this guy. Second, I would also talk to my child's coach & ask what the rules are for that type of thing. Is that allowed? To be expected? If so, then I would not allow my child to be around him again. If not, I would report him to whom ever is responsibile for the coaches. I don't think I would have handled seeing some guy, coach or not, yelling at my child well. I probably would have walked out & taken him/her off of the field. Its a tough call though, I know that kids sports can get that way, I have just been lucky as I have not had to deal with that yet.
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