Any advice on dealing with Bully?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Any advice on dealing with Bully?
4
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 9:12am

What should I tell my daughter about how to deal with a bully? Please send your opinions and experience.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 2:00pm

Give her guidelines and tools. Tell them once firmly to stop the behavior. Ask them a second time louder. Walk away, head held high and confident. She needs to remain as calm and unflustered as possible. Bullies are usually looking for attention and a reaction. If it still doesn't stop after asking them twice then tell an adult. If the behavior continues over a period of time you call her teacher and let them know. Ask what the teacher is going to do about it. Ask your daughter in a week or so if things are any different. If not, call the principal. Take care of it before it gets out of hand.

Can you tell I've been through this? My dd was chased around the playground and called "kissy girl" all year last year and into this year. I told her teacher twice and nothing changed. By that time it was almost the end of the school year and I thought maybe it would go away over the summer. Sure enough, come the beginning of the school year it started up again. She and I went through the same tools again and it didn't seem to help. I had finally had enough and made an appointment to talk with her teacher. I went in, explained the situation, gave her the names of the boys and she pulled them all into her classroom (they were in different 1st grade classes) and told them it had to stop. Seems to have worked. She's only mentioned it twice since October and I ask on a monthly basis. You know what upset me the most about it? The reason she got the name. She was having real separation issues so I gave her a picture of a kiss from me that she could pull out whenever she missed me. The boys saw it and started teasing her.

Good luck! If you have more questions, just shout out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 4:13pm

Thanks so much for your response and experiance. I really appreciate it.

Cheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 4:31pm

You're welcome. Give her as many words to defend herself as you can. "That's not nice. Don't do that any more". Maybe do some role playing or practicing. It's all in the attitude. It needs to be confident and secure not wimpy or snotty.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:02pm

Cheri, does your school have an anti-bully program or policy? You might want to ask the school about it. Sometimes they aren't aware of a problem until the parent mentions it.


The main thing I tell Tre is that kids do some crazy things and if he can't laugh about it, to walk away calmly and play with other kids who are kind. I try to tell him to make smart choices about who he plays with. I

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