boys liking girly things?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
boys liking girly things?
7
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 9:23am

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has a boy who likes to do "girl" things. My son is not into sports, and he is as gentle as a lamb. He still likes to walk around in my shoes! I know he is only six (seven next month), and one never knows, but it is starting to concern me. Most of his close friends are girls, and he hasn't really connected to any boys. Girls at this age are starting to only want to play with girls, and he is getting crushed. He has a ton of friends, but no "buddy." His new first grade class is filled with really sweet, and nice boys, so I am hoping he finds his niche. He likes imagination games, and he is great at it. I just encourage his imaginative play, but the shoe thing is starting to get to me! My friend told me to tell him that my closet is off limits because it is mommy's stuff and he could hurt himself. This way I don't embarrass him. He doesn't do the shoe thing infront of his friends, infact, he is quite embarrassed if they found out. He's told me not to say anything.

I'm just wondering. OYE!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 2:38pm

I have a 2nd grader who still likes some girly things. I almost never wear heels, but had some out last week and he admitted to wearing them around a few times, though he was embarrassed. I think that is just general curiosity and plain old fun for a young one. My son has a large baby doll that he likes to play with, but he doesn't really want his friends to know about it. He wanted to take it to the grocery store with us a few months ago and I let him; he was nervous that people would make fun, but he received only a few nice comments (we must have been there on Senior day, lol). I think it just shows he has a nurturing side. It bothers my husband a bit. I have an 11 yr old son too so I've known a few boys over the years who do things that aren't all guns and cars. I've known different boys to: play with dolls, dollhouses, barbies (easily substituted with GIJoe), girly dressup, stuffed animals, tea sets, makeup, My little ponies and Dora toys. It's just something to do, and doesn't show any sexual preference in the way that adults fear.

He likes to play with the girls; partly because they are more gentle and fair I think. Once he hit school, there was a lot more of the 'that's for girls' categorizing. His kindergarten teacher said that the kitchen/household/baby area was most popular with the boys. She had to get a timer and extra dolls so they could take turns and not fight.

I think the behavior should not be a problem for you/your son. Even first grade can be a little soon for that 'best friend' connection, but I'm sure he will find someone. You can try asking another mother and son over to play or have him invite a boy to play. I've found that reaching out can be the hardest part. Enjoy and encourage the sweet gentle boy he is; it will be challenged by the rest of the world soon enough (5th grade was hard for mine). If the shoe thing is bothering you, do as your friend suggested and keep him out of your closet (help him learn about privacy that way?) Maybe he is trying to connect with your dressing up? Does he have a tie and dress shoes of his own? Maybe you can show him how men dress up and then find some times to go out so he can shine with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 8:20pm

THank you so much for your reply. It actually made me feel a lot better. I know he is young, and i do nurture his soft side. I had bought him a "groovy girl" doll when he was being potty trained (he was late, close to four) and that is all he wanted. He still plays with it, but gets embarrased when people find out. He has been saying "don't tell anyone about my doll, or don't tell anyone about my trying on your shoes..."

Like I said, there are a lot of nice boys in his first grade class this year, where as last year they were nice, but very sport minded. He was also having a tough time seperating from his "girlfriends" because they just wanted to be with each other. He couldn't understand why he couldn't play with them. I just want to know how to make him feel comfortable in his own skin and make sure he is happy no matter what. I can't force him to play sports, but he really hasn't found his niche. He is very imaginative and creative. I just haven't found any little boys who share simular interests. It's so sports, sports, sports! My 3 year old will be into it, but my 7 year old is not.

Thanks again for your genuine reply. I truly appreciate you taking the time to write me back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 4:06pm
My seven year old plays with dolls and knows that it is okay to play with dolls and do girly things. I buy him dolls when he ask for them. Also i played with trucks and only had dolls that sat on my bed when i was his age. So i think just let him explore what he likes and tell him he doesnt have to be embarrased about anything he does because they are probably other kids that do the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 7:41pm

Thank you so much. I do encourage him, and I don't tell him it's wrong. I just want him to connect with someone. I see all these other children having a "buddy" and it makes me sad for my son. To be honest, I think it bothers me a lot more than it bothers him. He'll find his buddy, and probably 20 after that.

Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 12:06pm

I some how totally missed this post, before I wrote mine. Please read it, if you don't mind.
I am dealing with something very similar but your situation seems to make mine seem a little worrisome. My son wants to be a girl. I think most boys do go through phases where they like to play with dolls, barbies, ect. Espcially when they see mommy or are around other girls. I have 4 nieces whom my son was around all the time. So I thought that had something to do with it. I would like your opinions on my post.

Thanks!
Lyndsay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 12:56pm
I am not sure what post you are talking about?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 1:08pm

It should be right below.

Titled:
New Here-Need Advice-Boys being Girls?? from stlmommy2001