My just-turned-8 year old DD has a problem of asking for things at the next door neighbor's house (can I eat over, can I go to grandma's with you, will you take us for a bike ride).
Neighbors are extremely nice and I don't want it to get to the point that she annoys them and they don't want her over.
But, I am not there -- how am I to know she is doing it??? I have told my other DD (age 6) that if DD#1 asks for anything at the neighbor's house, to let me know. My oldest was very upset that I am having DD#2 be a snitch -- but if I can't trust her, that is the way it has to be.
BTW, my DD means no harm by it. She actually loves the girl that lives there and loves to spend time there.
No need to "banish" your DD's friends. Just make the rules clear. When they ask for food or drink say "just water -- if you want something else you'll have to go home and get it." Just be firm but friendly. You are teaching them a lesson if you do this. Also, if it is nice out don't be afraid to say everyone has to play outside.
Thank you for giving me another point of view.
One other thing I thought of. Our other neighbor girl (who is 7) -- when she is over her trick is to whisper to one of my kids what she wants -- "ask your mom if we can have a snack, ask your mom if we can play with such and such." I see her whisper to them and 5 seconds later my kids is asking for something.
It is annoying but I don't over-react.