Do you discourage friendships?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Do you discourage friendships?
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 2:41pm

My youngest kiddo is a really good kid but has a friend at school that we are not too fond of.


Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.~ Dr Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2011
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 2:53pm
I can totally understand where you are coming from. I think the hardest part of the situation is knowing that the other child is in a bad situation himself.

When my son had a friend I didn't care for, I simply tried to find alternatives for him. I didn't outwardly discourage the friendship he had, but instead I encouraged other friendships I approved of. I would set up little play dates for the kids and would invite them over regularly. Eventually he became more interested in the other children and the friendship I disapproved of eventually dwindled out.

Good luck! I hope you find a solution that you all can live with.
June, loving mommy to Nicholas (8)
Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 2:58pm
I have discouraged friends before, although it's hard to do when they are at school. Although you feel bad for the other child, you can't always put your own child in harms way.

I think that kids are pretty good at determining who the bad influences are and hope that helps them to decide not to be around that individual. If they end up getting burned, I remind them that the other child was not being a friend to them and they need to think hard about that.

This summer, I've been limiting Sean's contact with another boy he's been friends from school. This boy can be very rowdy and hyper (and I'm not new to rowdy and hyper :) ), and doesn't make very good decisions at school. I'm glad they aren't in the same class next year.