GIRLS!!! Grrrrrrrrrrr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
GIRLS!!! Grrrrrrrrrrr
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 3:17pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 2:13pm
hello!! honestly, im not positive of the best approach either. i can tell you that autumn is getting attention at her moms house for her provocative behavior and shes seeing something or hearing something from someone and shes imitating it. i babysat a lil girl who had an older brother and one time they were both in my bedroom and she took off her shirt and said she was "being sexy with tyler." (she was 2 at the time...yes only 2) i told her parents about it, they didnt seem fazed. and unfortunatly, you can only protect your kids so far...maybe instead of letting your dd go over to the neighbors to play, have the lil boy come over to your house where you can supervise and keep an eye on things. my dds best friend was a lil boy that lived across the street(he moved a few weeks ago) and my sil said she thought she saw him take our garden hose and put it near my dds privates one time when they were playing together. but she asked my dd about it-and my dd knows about people touching her there and how its bad...and my dd said they werent doing anything wrong...that this incident didnt happen...i just kept a closer eye on them every time hes been over since and havent seen anything else that sends up red flags.and she doesnt seem to notice the boys any different than the girls. ive just recently started to tell her not to walk around naked when there are other men/boys in the house other than daddy...and even more recently, weve stopped letting her bathe with her cousin (whos almost a year younger than her)-we havent made a big deal about it-we just stopped letting her do that and ive just been reminding her that "uncle david is over, so change in your room and then come out here..." i dont dress sexily-i dont like the way it looks-and my girls see this and imitate me...i guess you have to explain to your dsd and your dd about how beautiful they are and how they dont need to dress cheaply to attract attention. lavish attention on them-and as far as the boy issue-right now its tame...its harmless...theyre kids being kids...if youre concerned, like i said, have the kids play at your house where you can supervise faras the race issue, i dont know your family history, but i assume tyren is adopted...i would tell your dd that you guys chose tyren cuz he was special...and that his brown skin is beautiful and if anyone asks, she can tell them hes her special brother-that her parents loved him and wanted to make him part of the family...yeah, his skin is brown, but its just the way he was born...hes still my brother...(i have to stop and wonder here if she didnt overhear her mom maybe saying something to someone or another close minded adult saying something and thats where she picked it up that people will stare because hes different...)preach acceptance...preach about being special and not so much about being know, i thought the toddler and the teenage years were supposed to be the toughest-no one warned us about these "kid" years!!! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 4:37pm

Hello, and what a beautiful family you have!!!!

I think the key here is to use caution and calmness when you talk about these issues. If you make a huge deal out of it, you may get a reaction to your reaction rather than a decision based on knowledge and understanding.

As far as the neighbor boy goes, you can calmly explain to your daughter that you are uncomfortable with him being so touchy. You could tell her that friends are great when they are boys and girls, and they can do lots of fun things togehter. You would prefer that he and she keep their hands to themselves. =) That should be simple enough for her to hear your boundaries and not to be so intrigued by your reaction.

Your son is adorable!!! I'm sure your step daughter isn't conscious about how her feelings impact him and his feelings. What you can do is have a talk about families and what makes a family. Talk about the sharing and uspport, fun and laughs and working together.

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