" I hate you!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
" I hate you!"
Fri, 06-21-2013 - 1:40pm

Someone please tell me my kid is not the only one who has ever yelled this! Ugh, it's so hurtful! I need a good response prepared for the next time it's said so that I can not show as much emotion. Any ideas?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:22pm

That's a hard one.  I have heard it once or twice from my middle one, never from my oldest luckily.  I think the best thing you can do is say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way, I would like it very much if once you have calmed down, we can talk about how and why you feel that way."  And like you said, saying it as calmly and emotionless as possible will help.  Also make sure to remind him/her that no matter what, you will always love them.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Wed, 07-03-2013 - 12:08pm

I hear this occasionally from some of my kids.  I always respond with "it's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to be mean". Then, they usually get a trip to their room.  I treat it the same as any other time they get in trouble and don't make a big deal out of it; eventhough it hurts to the bone. :(

Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Wed, 07-17-2013 - 1:40pm

I agree with arryl & krilerby.... tell them that you're sorry they feel that way but you still love them. Kill em with kindness, LOL! I really like "it's okay to be mad but it's not okay to be mean"- I'm going to have to remember that line b/c it's hard to remember the "right" thing to say when something so hurtful has been said to you.

How are things now? Was it the only time they've said it?