The IA at school (kinda long)
Find a Conversation
|Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:17pm|
I need to know what you guys think before I feel like I'm nuts. I'll preface you with the small details to give you a clear picture of what is behind what's going on.
Our family moved to this area a week before school started so we were new to the town and school. In the first week of our new school, my son tells me a teacher grabbed him and dragged him back to his seat in the lunch room. I've told me son, that no teacher should ever yell at him, call him names or get physical with him in discipline and to tell me if anything like that happens. So he told me about this while I picked him up from school. I was horrified. I parked and went into the office and told the secretary what my son said. The lady that did this turned out to be an IA on duty in the lunch room and was in the office when I went in and I didn't know it. she was very rude and mean as she explained why she grabbed my son. She acted as though how dare I have a problem with her grabbing my son because she told him to sit down a few times before. I don't care how many times she tells my son to sit down, when she uses physical force to discipline him I will have a problem with that. I think she needs more skills and patience. The principle wasn't understanding and asked me silly questions like, "What if my son is getting out of line or going the wrong way in line and an adult guides him back with their hand." I was not sure if she was mocking me by asking me that question because surely I would expect the principle to understand kindly guiding a child with your arm or hand and disciplining while being visibly frustrated by grabbing my child's shoulders and marching him and sitting him down in his seat are two different things. So this incident left me feeling like they did not care of my conern. I got over it and let it go and instructed my son to stay seated and to follow rules.
Now, yesterday when I arrived to pick my son up from school, I was waiting in the vehicle line and watched him play with his friends. When I pulled up to get him, he ran to my vehicle roaring like a monster like he does sometimes. This same IA from our previous issue in the lunch room, normally supervises the afterschool pickups and I've maintained a good relationship with her despite what happened. On this day, when my son got into the vehicle she came over before he shut the door for us to leave, and started buckling his seatbelt for him which she does not normally do, while threatening him with a time out if he doesn't settle down. Me and my son were both puzzled as to what she was talking about, so I asked "Why, what happened?" She replied, "He was running through the trees."
This didn't make sense to me. First of all, she was in his face while buckling him up telling him Quote, "If you dont' settle down, you'll have a tree for a buddy." Which means he'll have to stand by a tree in time out. Secondly, I did not see him running through the trees like she said. He had run a short distance to my vehicle to get in because he was excited to see me and let out a monster roar. Thirdly, Plenty of kids were playing with each other while waiting and she was not telling then anything, so I was confused as to why she thought my child needed to be threatened with time out by a tree,a when he was getting into my vehicle to go home.
So what I need from you guys, is to tell me if this is a valid concern and how do I handle this. When I called the school and told the secretary I had an issue to speak to the principle about my thinking, what this teacher said to my child as she buckled him into my vehicle, as being inappropriate. The counselor instead, called me back and although he was very nice, I am not sure he understood why I thought what she said and did was inappropriate.
What do I do when I disagree with the way an IA or school official, in this case, talks to my child, in the previous case, physcially handled my child?
Thanks guys, your support and thoughts are much needed.