just another parent needing advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
just another parent needing advice
2
Sun, 08-19-2007 - 10:28pm

It seems like there are a lot of posts about our kids' behavior and attitude! I am also at my wits end at my 5-going-on-6 year old. I swear she is going backwards in her maturity! But one thing I CANNOT get her to understand is my disciplining her is not me being a MEAN MOM, it's just me being a MOM! Whenever I send her to timeout or talk to her about a mistake she made she tells me I'm being a mean person for being stern with her.

Tonight she got put in timeout because she got into my makeup and smeared it all of the bathroom cabinets while she was SUPPOSED to be brushing her teeth. SHE NEVER USED TO SO STUFF LIKE THAT! When she was 2 and 3 years old I could leave anything out and she wouldn't touch it, now she's starting to get into things that don't belong to her. Anyways...I didn't freak out about it or anything I just wanted her to know she had done something wrong so she sat in timeout then I gave her a chance to apologize and she gave me a snotty "SORRY!". Then when we were getting ready for bed she snapped at me again while I was talking to her and I sternly told her that kind of tone is NOT acceptable and she was put in bed. Later I went in to check on her and she was crying so I asked her if she wanted to talk and she very sweetly said she was sorry and I told her I realy appreciated that she apologized. THEN...she asked ME "are you sorry for the way you treated me?".
I was stumped! Do I apologize for disciplining her? I just tried explaining to her that we are teaching her the difference between right and wrong decisions and we want her to grow up to be a good adult who knows how to make smart decisions. I didn't know what else to say. I am just tired of everytime the tone of my voice changes from fun mom to strict mom she tells me I am mean to her. I won't even be yelling at her just talking to her matter-of-factly and she gets very sensitive about it, yet I'm supposed to put up with the snappy way she talks to me. What to do! What to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:40pm

Sounds like you're doing it right to me!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 8:53am

You are doing a great job. I don't think you should apologize for disciplining your child, either. My girls will tell me that they think I am mean when I am disciplining them as well. We are mean because we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. Teaching them right from wrong. We are mean because it isn't what they want to hear/see/say/do. Have faith in yourself. You are a great mom. Keep up the good work.

Sandy

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