My DD "discovered" herself!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
My DD "discovered" herself!!!
5
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 12:51pm

My 6.5 year old DD came back from a visit at her grandfather and step-grandmother's house last night and her step-grandmother expressed a concern with me about DD.

She said while DD was at her house, she was laying in her bed watching cartoons with the neighbor girl (who is also 6). She told me she let them play with one of those hand-held vibrating back massager things (not a vibrator) and my DD was using it on her own back. When step-grandma came into the room to check on them, she said my DD had it on her privates (fully clothed) and step-grandma proceeded to ask her why she was doing that and DD said "because it feels good." Step-grandma then told me she took the back massager from DD and explained to both DD and the neighbor girl that it is inappropriate and unacceptable to touch their privates or let anyone else touch their privates.

My question is should I be concerned? I'm trying to figure this out and see where DD would have gotten this strange behavior from. She lives with me and her step-father (who's been more of a father to her (since she was 2) than her own dad has been) and visits her biological father (who lives with his mother) every other weekend.

I don't know if this is normal behavior for a 6.5 year old girl? I wouldn't think so, but I mean, eventually, they would discover their privates, right? What do you all think? Do I have a discussion with DD about this? If so, how do I go about discussing this with her? I don't even know where to start with this. Someone please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 3:30pm
Truly, I don't think it's anything to be too concerned about. I doubt it's something she "learned" anywhere, but natural curiosity led her to try the massager on different parts of her body, and heck, she figured out it felt good in certain places! I wouldn't freak out about it; she should just know that she should not touch her privates in front of other people, but she should not be made to feel ashamed about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 4:27pm

I agree that she should not be made to feel ashamed about it. I'm just unsure if I should even address it or not at this point since it happened Monday night and she has probably already forgotten about it.

Maybe what her step-grandmother told her Monday was sufficient enough and if it happens again then I will address it. I don't even know how to bring it up at this point so I think I'll just let sleeping dogs lie instead of rehashing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 07-26-2007 - 6:08pm

Honestly I think that the only thing you should really be concerned about is that the stepgrandma told your DD that it is unacceptable to touch her own privates. While I would never encourage that type of behaviour, i would tell my own DD that is to only be done in private, and that it isn't "dirty" or "bad"........because it really isn't. Further, it's totally normal. I think I was about 8 when I "discovered" myself while sitting in front of the tv one afternoon. My mom told me to keep it private. I'm not deranged or anything, and I don't have any sex problems.

Good Luck!

Sarah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 10:45pm
I would talk w/her about the incident.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 9:43am
Thank you all for your advice! I really appreciate it. I don't think I'll bring it up to her since she's been talked to by her step-grandmother about it already. Thanks again!