My step son was naked under covers with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
My step son was naked under covers with.
3
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 3:25pm

Good afternoon. My step son was caught naked under the covers with a girl (who was also naked) his age at his mom's house. This was about 5 months ago. From what my husband told me, he got in a lot of trouble with his mom and i'm not sure that that is how this situation should have been handled. Now, whenever he is at our house and friends come over he asks me if they can stay the night and if he can get under the covers with them. I have just been telling him no, but how do I handle this? He will be 6 soon. Any advice would be great!!

crystal

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 11:29pm

Well, it sounds he was just over 5 years old when it happened, so maybe he wasn't quite aware of what is appropriate with girls and what isn't (you know, just trying to play "mom and dad" sort of a thing or something??)..

One rule we have at our house is that bedroom doors always stay open while friends are over.. same with the bathroom (my dd likes to give her my little ponies a bath with her friends). We haven't had any "situations" at our house but I have friends who's kids did.. and it always happened with a closed door. So, I think that helps.. plus, we have had talks about what it appropriate and not appropriate (leaving clothes on, private areas, etc.).

As for sleepovers, I told Aubrey she has to sleep in separate beds (one in bed, one on floor) or they can both sleep on the floor in sleeping bags.. have him help pick out a fun sleeping bag for him or a buddy to use.. so he doesn't think there's anything bad or not cool about not sharing a bed.

HTH!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 2:41pm

I think more info is needed. What were they doing under the sheets? Were they "experimenting?" How did he feel about that? And how did it make him feel?


Are the kids he wants to spend the night boys or girls?


Did his mom talk to him about why it is inappropriate?


I would start with a conversation. It is possible he could me imitating behavior taught to him by someone, OR something he saw on TV.


I would be very concerned. You do not want to be the person called when someone child is "touched inappropriately".


I think since he is still asking, he found some sort of pleasure in it. You need to find exactly what the pleasure was. If it is he likes to cuddle, find an alternative like he can cuddle with you on the couch during family time or sleep with you and your husband for 10 minutes before bedtime.


Anyway, I would definately look into it more. It could be harmless, but you don't know unless you ask.


Best of luck to you and hugs!


Debbie


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 12:13pm

I think you have to handle it based on what you have witnessed. If you see him doing things that aren't appropriate, you may want to mention it there on the spot so it is imediately corrected.

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