The Naked Game

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2008
The Naked Game
2
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 7:12pm

Hi ladies, hoping for some advice.

We moved into our neighborhood last August. Our street is great for kids--not a main road, shady and open, and there are five or six families with small kids right on the street close by. I have a six-year old son who was really excited to play with the neighbors; two six-year olds who are almost a year older than my son ("Kid 1" and "Kid 2"), and a five-year old ("Kid 3").

In October, Kid 3's mom came over in a huge huff because she had caught all four boys at her house, in her bathroom, naked. Apparently Kid 1 had suggested that they play a game where one person takes his clothes off, and then the other kids get to give him commands which he has to follow. It turned out that the older two boys, Kid 1 and Kid 2, were mostly giving orders and my son and Kid 3, the two younger ones, were doing all the stunts. Things like jumping up and down, spinning around, etc.

Well, it caused a big neighborhood thing. I found out from my son that it was not the first time he'd played the game, and he'd actually played it with Kid 1 several times, including in my house in the toyroom when everyone else was downstairs. I talked to him about keeping private parts private, keeping people safe, etc etc. I thought he understood that it wasn't okay.

Two weeks ago, Kid 3's mom came around AGAIN. She had caught the kids doing the EXACT SAME THING AGAIN at her house. Except this time everyone had their clothes on, except for MY son. He was following orders and the older two were ordering him around. Kid 3 was outside the door afraid of being caught, not participating at all.

Okay. We had the talk again. We talked about how it's not okay, etc. Well today my son had two friends over from his kindergarten class -- NOT Kid 1, 2, or 3. Two completely new kids. This time, it's MY SON'S idea to play the game. I caught them in the bathroom with the door closed, and again my son was the only one who was naked. The other two kids were just looking completely shell-shocked and nervous.

I called the parents and told them about the game and to talk to their kids, and let me know if they hear anything really suspicious. I've talked to several people who say it's normal experimentation for this age, and not to worry -- but how can I not worry? This has happened enough times that I feel like it's becoming a HUGE problem. I don't want my son to get the reputation in the neighborhood of being the Creep.

Should I punish him? A lot? Or just have another calm talk about how it's not okay? What can I say to get through to him?

Avatar for jacindaanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
In reply to: annadaboo
Fri, 03-27-2009 - 11:41am
I agree, it is a problem, & should be stopped. The reason I feel this way is that as a child I was your son. The smaller/younger child being ordered around by an older/larger child to do such things. Although we were never caught, I stopped becasue I knew it wasn't right. I found out later that the older/larger girl had been sexually abused by an Uncle, and that is where the games came from. While this may not be the case with the older kids in the case, I would still be concerned about this game. Kids can abuse other kids. I would speak to your son, just as you have before, and tell him that being naked is for changing clothes & bathing, not for playing with friends. You may even want to go as far as telling him that nobody should touch him "that way". At least that is what I would do. However, due to my past experiences, I am very cautious of this kind of behavior. IMO, since this is a repeat behavior, I would either 1) not allow the kids to play alone, or 2) not allow them to play at all.
Just my 2 cents.


Heather Pictures, Images and Photos
Heather Pictures, Images and Photos

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
In reply to: annadaboo
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 11:33am

The pp had some good suggestions for you.

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