Pesty neighborhood kids!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Pesty neighborhood kids!
3
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 12:12pm

Hey guys!

I am coming out of lurkmode to pose a few questions that have been on my mind about my 7 year old DD. I'll start with just one for today. (believe me, I have a lot! :)

She is friends with a couple neighborhood kids that she rides the bus with. They are the biggest pests! I can't even go outside to enjoy the sun in the front of the house without them spotting her and running up the street to hang around. They run all over, play with all the toys, make a terrific mess, you get the picture. The problem is, I have a 4 year old DS with slightly different rules and playing abilities than her and her friends (they are 7 and up!) and a 3 month old infant girl to look after, and the constant rigamorol is a bit of a nuisance, ya know what I mean? Yesterday, she got off the bus, stepped in the door, I shut the door, she took off her backpack, and that doorbell was ringing (yep, the kids down the street) before I could even say hi to her, not to mention "how was your day?" They must have literally gotten off the bus (they live down the street, so they get off one block before my DD) and walked straight up the street without even stopping home first! I answered the door and said "She cannot play right now, we have too much to do tonight" which was true... we had errand night last night, but I suppose she could have played for a little while. But, c'mon! I didn't even have a chance to even welcome her home from school for the day!

Having an infant makes it difficult, too. When the neighborhood kids are here, I feel like I have to watch them like a babysitter, but when its just my own two children out there, I can trust them a little more, and then I can take care of my baby too, and get housework done, etc. See where I am going with this? I want a little privacy, here!

There have been many many situations I've had to deal with that I won't bore everyone with the details of, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I do want my DD to have friends. But, its hard, there is like 4 or 5 of them sometimes, and the group seems to grow as they walk, ya know, and sometimes there are children I don't even know playing in my backyard.

I feel like I should have a sign "If I don't know you or you are over 10, you may not enter"

My DH had to have a talk with them once about the doorbell, because they will ringringringring it repeatedly if I don't answer quick enough (or at all - yes I've tried hiding and just not opening the door. They just keep knocking)

Once they even walked to our backyard to help themselves to our stuff without bothering to knock first. UGH

So, any suggestions? Or should I just try my best to be June Cleaver and welcome the neighborhood kids into my home/backyard with open arms??

Avatar for karalash2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 5:02pm

I hear you!

I posted (somewhere) a while ago about a very similar situation. We live semi-rurally so there aren't a lot of kids to play with, and the ones around range in age from 4 (my ds) to 14. They all play together at times. I was having huge guilt issues about saying "no" to the neighbourhood kids, especially because one of them comes from a questionable home. However, the advice given to me was "Just say no".

If you don't want them over, say "you can't play here today". You don't have to give them an excuse. I have said "no, you can't come over to play." "Why?" asks the child and I reply "Because I said so". Trust me, they will cope.

In our case, my kids don't always love playing with these kids. I always check with my kids first if I am going to let someone come over. If my dd or ds doesn't want them over, I say no. My kids also know that if they have had enough, to tell me and I'll send the visitors home.

The neighbourhood kids also know my rules. 1)If you fight, you leave. 2)If you are destructive, you leave. 3)If you do something I told you not to (e.g. go on the trampoline), you leave. 4)If you are mean to my kids (especially my little guy since he is by far the youngest), you leave.

Don't feel you have to entertain the world. Make it clear to them that they will be welcome another time (if that is true), just not now. It's your home, you make the rules.

Good luck!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 12:06am

I have a similar problem to yours. I have a 7 year old DS, a 3 year old DS, and a 9mo. old DD. I can't let the kids just play outside without me, because the 3 year old ends up crying or getting in trouble. I have a neighbor kid who is, let's just say, not very nice. He gets my three year old to do things he shouldn't and if my son doesn't do them, the neighor kid is downright cruel to him. It doesn't seem that his parents care. The mom is never outside with him and I think she sends him out to get him out of her hair. I have pretty strict rules. They must be nice to the younger kids, try to play together, no hitting, swearing, that kind of stuff. The one neighbor kid obeys when I'm around, but if he thinks I'm not there, he does whatever he wants. I've caught him a few times and he just stares at me with a blank look.(It's kind-of creepy.)

I'll let my boys go out a play by themselves, but that never lasts long. Someone always comes around. I don't get much done around my house in the summer, because I spend it outside watching everyone else's kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 2:41pm

I've been in this siutation as well. Now, at this neighborhood, the moms come with the kids! Any time we are outside they come running. I can't be out with just the family. Trin is in this exploration stage and these other kids are ranging from 2 years to 10. NONE of them play like I teach my kids to play.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting