Share your parenting 'jewels'

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Registered: 08-31-2004
Share your parenting 'jewels'
3
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 1:33am

Hi all!

We each write about our failures as parents and we come here to vent, learn and brainstorm. I had an idea for a different kind of post - let's share our 'jewels.' You know how every now and then you hit on a solution to a parenting problem that just works so well for your family? Those are the days when you go to bed feeling so cool, right? I would love to hear what all of your parenting jewels are.

I had one the other day. I got this from my grandmother, who raised nine - NINE - children and I had forgotten all about it until just recently. I tried it and it worked so well that I had to share.

My kids don't really fight all that much, but when they do it is a doozy. My theory has always been to stay out of it as much as possible and let them work it out on their own. But there are times when they just can't seem to work it out and I find myself being drug in to an issue that is too ludicrous to even try to figure out and solve. You know what I mean? So I used my grandmother's method. I made my son and my daughter sit in facing chairs and look each other in the eye. I said, "Okay, here's what we do. The first one to laugh loses and the winner gets to choose what to do." My daughter and son immediately both clapped both of their hands over their mouths and their eyes were so big staring at each other. It was so funny - I will never forget it. My son cracked first, although my daughter was not far behind and they both ran off to play. Snap-snap! Mission accomplished and Super Mom went on about her day! (Okay - kidding with that!) Now, all I have been saying (with a big grin) is, "Work it out or it's chair time!" And they both start laughing.

What are your stories? Do tell!

Susan

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 11:00am

Susan, you're so funny! Let me see if I can post one that really works well in our family.


I have to say it is simple but it has done wonders. I tell them to breathe when they're upset. It was one of our habits we "replaced" with another. Instead of holding their breath and getting furious, I immediately tell them to breathe. It doesn't resolve the issue, obviously, but it does encourage clearer thoughts so that the solution can quickly be reached. PLUS, it is a tool they can use as adults, too!


GREAT QUESTION!!!

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Avatar for nlas99
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:07am

Something I've used a lot since dd was about 2 (she's 6 1/2 now) is a kitchen timer.

I use it for everything: when she needs to be finished with breakfast, how much time she can watch tv, when I want her homework done if she's been dawdling, when she needs to be dressed for school. If I need to get in the shower I set it for when I need her to do something, etc.

It has been a lifesaver. I also use it as a transitioning device. I discovered that dd does much better about shifting gears and doing something else if she has a transition time, maybe 5-10 minutes, then we will be doing "x"

My old one had a 5 minute warning dinger, but now I just use the one on my new stove. No warning ding tho. ;-)

Lynn

Lynn
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 12:34pm

My 3 kids (ages 8, 6,and 4) each have specific days that are their day. The oldest has monday and thursday, middle one has tuesday and friday, youngest has wed. and saturday. Sunday is Mommy Day. This has worked marvelous to cut down on fighting and whining over ridiculous things! If its "Kailey Day", then she is the one who gets to pick what movie they all watch, pick what color cup she wants, help me do something, go with Daddy to run an errand in the evening, sit on my lap when we read books, etc. If the kids start bickering over who gets to do what, I'll just say "Whose day is it?" and they immediately stop and figure it out. Works great for all sorts of things! ;o)

Donna