Shocked by new friends behavior....long

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Shocked by new friends behavior....long
4
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 11:53pm

Hello,

My oldest daughter is in second grade and recently brought a new friend from her class to a sleepover at our house. I was in complete shock at this girl's behavior. She was bossy to the other girls. When we were having a scavenger hunt and we tried to help the kids with a puzzle (after they were at it for awhile) she pushed our hands out of the way. Then when my daughter opened a new toy with lots and lots of pieces, all the girls picked up some and started playing, this girl immediately grabbed away the pieces my 4 year old had just picked up. Then at bedtime (getting late- around 11pm) everyone was tired except for you know who. I kept hearing her talk and when I went into the living room and told everyone it was time for bed and no more talking, she said "No. We're not tired and we're not going to sleep" with a smirk on her face. The next morning (all the kids except her had been picked up) my daughter and this child were having a snack that made their hands all cheesy so I told them go wash them, they walked together towards the bathroom but the girl stops on the way and walks into my bedroom and goes over to a desk and picks up my camera (WITH HER CHEESY HANDS!) and begins to play with it! I take the camera away and say "please don't touch that, and please go wash your hands" she washes them and a minute later I turn around to see her playing with my camera again!

My daughter has many friends and I have never seen this kind of behavior-ever! You should have seen my face-esp. that morning. I could hardly pick my chin up. I was in shock. I had never seen such disrespect. She was acting like a toddler. A few days later I was in their classroom and within a couple minutes I noticed this child was already being reprimanded. She was pushing her way into something some other kids were doing and grabbing away what they had. I know my daughter is extremely well behaved (at school esp.) but I also know that every other friend she has had over does not behave like this at all.

When I mentioned the sleepover to their teacher she gave me a knowing look, and admitted that she is constantly having to reprimand her.

SO,I also posted this on the autism board, my questions are- could this be a form of autism? Or is this just a very bratty little girl? Until today I figured she was just a brat and was horrified that my daughter still wanted to play with her. But my MIL mentioned that it could be autism.

Any thoughts? Thank you somuch!!!!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:47pm

I remember having kids over who do things that astound me, too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 6:52pm
Hi, Thank you for your response! No, I would never mention autism to the parents! And I was really thinking along the lines of high functioning autism. I just couldn't believe this behavior! As for talking to the parents about listening etc., I would feel rude I think- maybe because I've never had to! Have you ever had to with someone you've only recently met?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 10:17am

I have, and it's not fun. *sigh* We are military so I come across this type of thing a LOT. Sometimes I dread making new friends because of it.

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Avatar for nlas99
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 1:04pm

I haven't seen this mentioned yet so here is the way I would handle this little girl (And I have done so at my house, although I haven't had anyone quite so extreme visit my dd!)

I have no problem speaking to a child in my home who is doing something I don't like. For example, if the girl has cheesy hands, I ask her to go to the bathroom and wash them before she plays. If I have to go with her I will. If she is jumping on the furniture I let her know *by looking her Directly in the face* that that is "not allowed in our home." If she is using words I don't approve of (or back-talking), I tell her that is "not allowed in our home." After telling her, I try to redirect the kids to the correct activity.

IF she just can't handle proper behavior for my home, I will call the mom and ask her to pick up her child.

I would definitely invite her over to play again, maybe one-to-one like someone else suggested, so you can help her better understand how to behave properly *in your home*.

JMO.

Lynn

Lynn