socializing with other families
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|Sun, 12-20-2009 - 12:32am|
im the dad but asking for both myself and my wife. when our older child was in preschool she'd be invited to birthday parties all the time. this was because people would give invites to the whole class. last yr in kindergarten however, there were no invites, save one, which was another whole class party. we thought that maybe most of her friends had bdays in the summer, but come to think of it that shouldnt have made a difference. obviously the parties are smaller, but why no invites for our child? and shes popular and well known in her class.
specifically we found out recently that one child, who is a friend of our daughters and whos mother we thought liked us, and is very friendly, had a party at which many of the kids from school were invited.but not us. and we found this out from a mother who is not that close with their family but was invited. my explanation to my wife about this particular example was that because she doesnt volunteer at the school and isnt in a "social club" with the other moms, she isnt thought of. the parents get together and have the kids play outside of school probably a lot. then when bday party comes its like, "ok honey, who do you want to invite." the kids havent formed serious friendships in 1st grade yet, and so they mention the kids they've seen a lot of. im assuming this is how it plays out.
can any of you moms tell us what the mentality here may be? are moms really that bad about who they choose for their kids to see more of? do they just support friendships with kids where they are already friends with the mom? and its not like my wife could be disliked by these people. shes just not socially involved.
there was one mom last year whose kid was best friends with our daughter and she never even asked my wife for a playdate. in that case, she was clearly doing a disservice to her daughter by acting like an ass.