Summer Rules???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Summer Rules???
5
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 4:50pm

Do you have rules for the summer?

Aubrey doesn't have school today and i can already tell I'm going to go crazy this summer.. i need to set up some rules and FAST. We're usually some what busy on weekends so it's not a big issue during the school year.

-If you have younger kids, what are the rules during nap time? Only one friend over? No friends? Only play outside? Do I turn a movie on and call it down time or figure out a craft to do or something (w/ no friends)? My youngest is CRANKY if woken up before he is ready and where my m/s is SO bad I just can't deal with that if I don't have to.

-How many friends in general are allowed to be over at one time (we have lots of neighborhood kids)? We have a couple of neighbors where the kids have cousins that live with them and it seems like "extras" are always tagging along.

-If they ask for a snack, do you give them one? If it's a "play date" then that's one thing but I don't want to end up feeding half the neighborhood this summer.. kwim?

-If they suddenly have to go home, do you ask them to hurry and pick up before leaving?

-If friends are playing in the yard and need a drink or have to use the bathroom, do you just send them home?

Anything else? Thanks.. I really appreciate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
In reply to: dbayoung
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 10:20am

There are times I'm thankful not to live in that sort of neighborhood. Having kids drop by all the time would drive me crazy (and I'm a Girl Scout leader regularly surrounded by 14 chattering girls not to mention a preschool teacher lol.) Our playdates have to be planned and involve someone driving their kids here. At that point, I do give them a snack and certainly expect them to clean-up after themselves. Because it's less often, we can sometimes do fun things like crafts, a movie, a trip to the pizza parlour. That said, we are almost as busy in the summer as during the school year so it's not much of an issue.

In your shoes, I would certainly lay down some rules. Maybe have certain days friends can be over. Maybe a maximum number of kids. I wouldn't give snacks to drop by kids (they can go home for that.) YES make them clean-up! I'd let them use the bathroom unless they are literally next door. I'd offer water as a drink. If they want something better they can skip home. Those things in themselves will probably keep the numbers down with only the kids who really like your child coming over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
In reply to: dbayoung
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 5:04pm

When mine still napped I would not allow anyone over while the girls were napping. I would put my son in his room for quiet time. We still have that now during the summer. My plan for the summer is to have them read for 30 minutes everyday from 8 to 8:30 am. Then play outside as they want. I will allow a movie or cartoon after lunch to quiet and settle them down for a bit. Friends can come over after reading time and leave before lunch and can come over again at about 2pm till dinner. I never feed snacks. I can't afford it. If they get hungry they have to go home, I expect the same to happen to my kids. I never expect anyone to feed mine snacks.

Chelle

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
In reply to: dbayoung
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 6:22pm

I deal with these kinds of things all the time because our house is the house that everyone wants to come to. Also I have a baby on the way so I can see that napping will be an issue. I will let them play outside durring nap times. I usually kick them outside anyway because they are all boys here and tend to get rough. Most of the time we just have our 2 boys and 2 or 3 others over. When it gets to be more they have to be outside and then I sit out there with them. If things get too bad I send the trouble makeers home. As far as snacks go, I usually send them home if they want something. Although, 2 of the boys that come over are nephews and I tend to feed them. If they are thirsty I give them water, you want something else go home and get it. I let them use our bathroom as long as they aren't filthy, if they are they have to go home. But again they are all boys and if I didn't let them go in our house I would be afraid that they might use a tree. HTH

Shanna
Jacob 10yo
Hunter 6 1/2yo
EDD 8-7-07

Shanna

Mom to

Jacob 4/22/97

Hunter 7/22/00

Peyton 7/22/07

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
In reply to: dbayoung
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 3:06pm

Hi,

I'm usually a lurker but am feeling downright chatty today.

I live in one of these kinds of neighborhoods, and I LOVE it!!!! It definitely can be too much at times (like when the visitor is ill-behaved or overstays his/her welcome). But I love the independence that my kids and their friends feel running between each others' houses, and my kids are never happier than when a friend is over (my four-year-old regularly yells to his friend next door, asking her to come over). Even though it's sometimes (actually, often) exasperating for me, I cultivate this. The bottom line, as both my mom and my mother-in-law frequently tell me, is that if they're playing at your house, it's YOUR RULES and YOU CAN SUPERVISE. And that's really valuable, especially as they get older.

I think rules are a good idea, wish I were better at laying them down. :-) Definitely if you have a napper it is reasonable to say no friends over during that period, or perhaps limit it to one friend with restrictions to keep it quiet. This would be a good time for your older child to have one-on-one time with you. Or how about your older child going to someone else's house during that part of the day? I remember lots of times I would hang a sign on the doorbell, saying "baby napping, do not ring." Not that all of these kids could read....

As for bathroom, heck yes! And snacks? well, that's fine by me too, although I never offer things they really want, like chips or cookies, so no one goes crazy and eats me out of house and home anyhow. If there are kids in the backyard, and my son comes in and asks for a snack, I'll put out water and a bowl of grapes or some apples or cheese sticks. No big deal. This also reminds me that I should stock up on a big box of those cheapo popsicles for when I do decide to indulge the crowd.

My favorite and most frequently repeated rule at our house is that everyone shares and everyone has to be included. If you want to play with something by yourself or you want to play with only one of my kids, it's not going to work out. I sometimes have kids run home to get their own bikes or whatever.

You gotta love summer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: dbayoung
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 3:08pm

There were so many good questions I had to copy! LOL!!!


-If you have younger kids, what are the rules during nap time? Only one friend over? No friends? Only play outside? Do I turn a movie on and call it down time or figure out a craft to do or something (w/ no friends)? My youngest is CRANKY if woken up before he is ready and where my m/s is SO bad I just can't deal with that if I don't have to.


When Trinity naps, Tre has to come inside for a quiet time himself. He can watch a movie, read, play puzzles or just hang out with me.

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