New Here With Problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2005
New Here With Problem
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 11:33am

I am new here and I need advice.My son who is eight plays on a select soccer team.His coached gave him a starting position couple games ago.My son is not the best on the team but his coach told us that he feels that Trevor is his most improved player and he can tell that he has been practicing on his own.He said that him and the other coaches feel Trevor deserves this spot.The problem is couple of the dads don't.The one dad told my husband that the reason that we lost our tournament last season was because the coach didn't just play 5 certain players.I have no idea why he had to say this to my dh because I don't think my son was one of the five.My son is younger and in second grade where most of the other boys are 9 almost 10 and in third grade,so alot of the kids already knew each other before soccer tryouts.The mentioned dads never cheer for my son but do the others,and when my son is starting the one dad had to have the nerve to say oh great.I think the dads have said something to their kids because now they won't pass the ball to my son,even if he is open for a shot.They never had that attitude before.Last night at practice the coach kept telling the one dad's son to pass it to my son and he wouldn't.His dad yelled out good job Sparky(his kids nickname).I don't think the coaches realize the attitude of these dad's since he doesn't sit on the sidelines.My sons coaches say my son has the skills needed,but why don't these two dads see it.I have noticed they have been taking sparky out during the games,because he tries to get fancy and won't pass the ball.Do you think I should mention these two dad's comments to the coaches or leave it alone.Sorry it is so long.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:59pm


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2005
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:38pm

Thank you for your reply.The coaches at the beginning of the season had a meeting for the parents.They told us at this age they don't focus on winning but teaching the kids how to play soccer the right way and the positions.My mom keeps saying to focus on what the coaches think and not the two dads.I am very proud of my son and I love to watch him play.My son couldn't sit at a year and didn't walk until he was two.He is determined to excel at soccer and he practices everyday at home and he does his soccer homework they give him everynight.He has worked very hard to get where he is today.It just makes me so angry that a grown man would have this attitude against my son who is only eight.My son had to tryout for the team just like everybody else and the coaches think he has potential.It just makes me mad that a few dads can ruin what should be a good experience for the kids.We have a game tomorrow night and I will let you know what happens.Sorry for rambling on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 10:41am

Welcome to the board Lori. Its great that your son is improving so much with soccer and that the coaches felt he deserved the spot as a starter. Unfortunately if the other parents are actually telling their children to not pass the ball his improvement is going to slow down. I hate when parents undermine the coach like that. Its one thing if a coach is telling a child to do something dangerous or something a child can't handle, but passing a ball is something that should be completely up to a coach. I think in this situation I would talk to the coach. Let them know that you are under the impression that the kids are not passing the ball on purpose, because their parents told not to. I don't know if I'd mention names at this point, but the coach could still talk to the kids about following his instructions as he is the coach. In my opinion if the kids want to listen to dad instead, they shouldn't be put in as starters, because they are hurting the team. Its a horrible position those fathers are putting their kids in. Listen to me or your coach who you are supposed to be listenting to during the game.

We had a dad at my sons last game that spent so much time yelling at his daughter she was becoming distracted from the game. He even yelled out to her that one of the other kids were making her look bad. All I could say to my husband was "HE'S the only one making her look bad" No one would have even noticed she wasn't playing perfectly (because none of them do they are 8-10) if he wasn't shouting at her every other minute.

Sure winning is important, but some of these parents seem to think their elementary kids are playing for college or professional recruitment everytime they get out on the field.

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Registered: 10-29-2004
Thu, 05-01-2008 - 11:00am