Contact lenses help

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Contact lenses help
14
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 10:16am

I am wondering - do I have the only child in the world unable to put in contact lenses? Ds12 (rising 7th) went for his yearly eye exam and dh talked to him about getting contacts. I think part of it is that dh worries about him being too "geeky" (for lack of a better word). Now, honestly, I think ds is a sweet, somewhat introverted, but nice and good looking kid. However, he's certainly not like our older dds (both much more social and outgoing, both gorgeous). BUT - ds is 12 - few kids peak in MS, lol! So, sorry for all the background, but to help you understand, ds is a mini dh - sweet, a bit awkward, glasses (soon braces), loves chess and math club and orchestra, not so much into sports. I think dh though ds would look "cooler" in contacts (dh himself tried to have contacts but was unsuccessful due to severely dry eyes).

Ds tried for an hour at the doctor's and again at home with me (and an old pair of contacts). He seems to have a huge "blink reflex" for lack of a better word. He seemed completely unable to do it. Now I feel awful - dh basically told him (nicely and indirectly) that people get contacts for the "aesthetics" (he also did talk about other things, like how ds, who wants to do cross country, would find it easier to run in contacts). Before this ds was oblivious and now I'm afraid that he'll think he looks bad in glasses but he has become adamant that he is unable to put in contacts. He does have a history of OT/PT issues (apraxia) and is still on an IEP for speech, so I'm not completely surprised, but I wish we had never even brought it up. I feel like the status quo was just fine and now we've made him feel that he is lacking. Bad parenting 101. UGH!

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 10:27am
Hugs! I know when Jordyn first got contacts she was 11 or 12, I remember us being in the apartment here in Texas, and DH being deployed, so I guess 11-12, around the time I was pregnant with Emma. The first few weeks I would get tons of phone calls in the morning from her in tears because she couldn't get the contacts in, or one went in and not the other and she didn't know what to do. I went through the same thing as a teenager and gave up on contacts altogether until my late 20's. He can either go back in and work with the eye doctor or assistant or just keep trying at home, but honestly, if he doesn't get it, its better and less stressful to just leave it be til he is a bit older. DH may need a bit of a talking to about leaving well enough alone and working on "working up" DS' self confidence more than anything.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 11:40am
I think you've gotten some great advice from Tracy. The timing may not be right and he may be better off waiting a bit. I have contacts and also have quite a bink reflex (I'm always the one blinking in the family photo). I'm going to try to give you a little procedural help here but not sure how it will work out. A few assumptions to start out with. 1) Your ds is right handed 2) we're working with the right eye. Here goes... Rinse the lens with appropriate solution. Place it on the pointer finger. Use the middle finger to pull down the lower lid. Pull the upper lid up with the middle finger of the other hand and keep holding it until the lens is in. Make sure the area exposed on the eye is big enough for the lens. While holding the eye lids apart with the middle fingers, place the contact lens on the eye with the pointer finger.

Your ds is probably doing all of this but I thought I'd try to help. sometimes hearing different words triggers something and things click. Good luck to him. Just let him know it's not the end of the world if he can't do it. After all, he's still the same terrific kid with or without glasses.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 3:40pm

I went through the same thing as a teenager and gave up on contacts altogether until my late 20's.

Actually, it makes me feel better just to hear that you (and Jordyn, to a certain extent) had some of the same problems! The girls and I adjusted really quickly so I'm happy to know he's not the only one. Dh already feels bad about it not working out since he was the one who suggested it - I don't think it occured to him that it might not work!  I think because he was a bit socially awkward in MS, he is sensitive to ds, but I think everyone feels (and looks, lol) a bit awkward when they go through puberty. Luckily, ds seems pretty oblivious. We were at the ortho today and he reiterated that ds's teeth need more time before braces but he asked again if the gap between his front teeth bothered ds. Ds was like, "gap, huh? Uh, no, not at all."  It also may be the boy/girl difference - the girls would swoon over a single blemish - ds is kind of like, "hmmmm... so that's a blemish, interesting... what causes that?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 3:42pm

Thanks for the advice from someone who is also a blinker! I am not a blinker and I've never even needed to touch my eye at all to put my contacts in (I just open them really wide). We'll probably give it one more try and if it doesn't work I'll shelve it until ds brings it up again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 8:51pm

I have no practical advice for you.  The only thing I can say is that I HATE contact lenses and choose to wear glasses.   They certainly aren't for everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:13am

 The only thing I can say is that I HATE contact lenses and choose to wear glasses. They certainly aren't for everyone.

That actually is good advice - I don't mean to sound ignorant, but it never occurred to me that anyone wouldn't prefer contacts, because they seem so much easier (no fogging, no rain or sweat problems, no streaking or smudging...). I'm probably just so used to them, and people like what they are used to!  We've definitely shelved them for a year or two at least!!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:45am
I think it says something to his confidence about what he said about his front teeth gap. Jordyn was hit in 2nd grade and fell forward and chipped her front tooth and 1/4 of its lower half broke off. It was her adult tooth already and the dentist told us at the time that once she got into high school, her teeth had all gotten to where they were going to be, we'd have to go ahead and put a cap on it or build up the tooth to make it even with the teeth. Then in 8th grade the last day of school she bit into a hard candy and broke it off a bit more. Luckily she doesn't to this poing have any root issues. But when I mentioned last year that whenever she was ready to go ahead and have the cap put on or have it built up, especially before senior pictures she told me she was just fine with it the way it was, it didn't bother her at all, she didn't even notice it any longer. It made me realize I was the one that always felt it looked awkward because she has otherwise beautiful straight teeth. I think it shows that sometimes kids are more okay with certain things than we realize.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Sat, 08-04-2012 - 4:26pm

My daughter (going into eighth grade) actually loves her glasses and deliberately chose "dork frames," as she put it, when we went to get them last spring. That said, she has a light prescription and only needs them for things like movies and seeing the board in class - she might not feel the same way if she had to wear them all the time. But, she says no one's ever teased her about them and I know she wouldn't be bothered by a boy who wore them, so it's not the instant middle-school kiss of death it used to be. Same for braces; since the majority of kids have them at some point now (DD is almost the only one of her friends who doesn't need them), it's not a big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 08-08-2012 - 5:41pm

But, she says no one's ever teased her about them and I know she wouldn't be bothered by a boy who wore them, so it's not the instant middle-school kiss of death it used to be.

 

You and Tracy both raised good points and made me realize that it really isn't that big of a deal. Thanks! It's so nice to hear from moms of kids who feel completely comfortable with braces, glasses, or a chipped tooth! BTW, my oldest dd, 21, also has the "dork" frames but apparently (if I'm thinking of the same thing) big black Buddy Holly type frames are now cool, not dorky. I can't keep up... lol,  that's what my dds are for (to advise their brothers, because I am VERY out of the loop! :smileywink:)

Theresa

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 9:15am

Yes, those big Buddy Holly glasses are considered "cool"  Jordyn wears a pair of them, they are actual ray ban's I think, when she's not wearing her contacts.  I think they are pretty dorky myself, but she loves them! LOL!  This picture is from Christmas 2011, but she still wears them, we just had the lenses updated.

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