DS left out at family events when all girl cousins play together

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
DS left out at family events when all girl cousins play together
8
Sat, 08-25-2012 - 7:56am

I need advice about DS9.  I am more familiar with you all than the 9yr old forum and my DD is 14, so I hope it is ok to ask my question here.

 

Yesterday we went to BIL's house. His girls are 11, 8 and they are good kids. However, these girls and my DD would just sti and talk about clothes, earrings and makeup. DS9 kept telling them to play hide/seek or other games but they wouldn't listen and he got angry and sulky. I get the girls' POV and my DS9. Anyway, yesterday we told the girls they must include DS also but nothing came out of this talk.  They played some  I Spy game for 5 minutes and were back to "girlie-talk" in no time.

 

So my question is: should I take games and puzzles for DS whenever there are too many girls around??? He doesn't really play games and puzzles and does not understand why his girl cousins won't play tag or h/seek etc. I do not want DS to play computer games /iPhone when we have company or visit others.  We are originally from India and when we go to a family event, there are waaay more girls than boys and the boys just end up playing on their DS/parents' iPhone.  DS loves to read, so should I take a book to family events if the girls exclude DS?????

 

Thanks so much,

Chimi

 

Thanks so much,

Chimi

Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Thank you all. Good to get your input.
Chimi
Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Wonderful ideas - thank you!!!
Chimi
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003

I actually have this problem to a degree bc I have an 11-year-old DS and twin 5-y-o DDs.  My DS would dearly love to play with his "girls", but they'll only let him in occaisionally.  Here's what works for us:

  • *  Have him bring a board game (or a video game that you can play too) and then *you* join him in playing.  The girls may soon come over to check out what's going on (because it looks like more interesting when two or more people are involved), decide it looks like fun, and play too.
  • *  Let the kids play independently, then seat them at the same table for a meal.  Mealtimes are one of the few times where my kids will talk and joke together naturally.
  • *  Enlist all the kids in making the food for the family event, setting up or cleaning up.  Having all the kids in the kitchen may lead to conversation, and when they talk, they're more likely to play together too.

Good luck with the next family event!

 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997

It's the same thing as "youngest cousin" syndrome, which DH and I both had.  As the youngest family members on all sides, we were always left out when the older ones played games, or we wanted to play games when the older ones had outgrown them. 

The situation is the same for our kids - our oldest is the same age as the youngest ones on each side, and poor 12yo DS is the youngest by 8 years.  Sometimes the host will realize this and set up a movie or videogame for him.  Sometimes we just let him play with DH's iPhone.  There's no point in making him miserable.

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
It's normal for the girls to want to do girls things, which he won't be interested in. He needs to take some toys and things to amuse/occupy himself. I wouldn't force them to play a "boy" game that they are not interested in. Sure, if they could spend some of the time sitting down playing monopoly, that would be great. He's old enough to understand that girls over a certain age are not all that interested in running around or hide and seek. My kids have often been bored at family events, as their cousins are adults.

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Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
Ok, thank you.
Chimi
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I would take a book for him and also take a Nintendo or some computer game--I don't see what the difference is between reading a book alone or playing a computer game alone.  It's better than having an unhappy kid and I think at this age, a lot of times girls & boys just don't want to do the same things.  It would be nice if they could all play a board game or do some kind of sport together, but if you have to force the girls to include the one boy, they won't like it either.