ten year old never wants to do anything or go anywhere

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
ten year old never wants to do anything or go anywhere
6
Mon, 11-25-2013 - 12:42pm

Should add he does have anxiety and he hates loud noises but I feel like he misses just because he thinks its going to be a certain way or because he'd rather stay home and play the wii or use the computer. They had pianos around the city last month and we were already in town for a dr appointment and he gave me such an attitude but I forced him. Then I could see dressying up for a halloween thing not too appealing but then he turned down a tree lighting. I don't know if its the age or his anxieties or what but I have been doing all these fun things with my little one and my friend and her boys and they are only a year younger then him and if he would just come I know they'd all have fun but I can't get him to agree to anything

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
It could be a combination of both. Does he have school friends that he gets together with? Is it possibly that he feels he is outgrowing some of the things that you are doing moreso as a family and wants to do his own thing? If its an anxiety issue you may want to look into counseling for coping skills. Wish I had more to offer.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Some of it might just be the age.  Are there things that he likes to do that he would be willing to go out for?  I remember that my 2nd DH (now ex) would want to drag the kids to these things like historical sites that would interest adults and then he'd be annoyed that the kids didn't want to go and would be bored.  I pointed out to him that they would be willing to go somewhere that they thought was fun (mini golf, arcade, beach) and what was the point of dragging them to things they didnt' enjoy?  If you notice that he says he doesn't want to go somewhere but then when he does go, he has a good time, then maybe I wouldn't offer him a choice sometimes.  But if you do make him go & he still doesn't have fun, then that's not much fun for anyone.  If he spends a lot of time on Wii and the computer, then I would limit that time too, so he knows that by staying home he won't have unlimited video time anyway and that won't be an incentive to say no (plus it's not good to be spending all day on that stuff).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003

He is in social skills group at school. He is sometimes more into if I bring my neice, she is 12, but my friend's son that I have been doing this stuff with is 9. I think he just forgets when I say who we are going with because when he does come after he will ask to do more with them. My DH is kind of a homebody too; he'd be happy napping on the couch all weekend and I worry older DS will get like that. Figured the halloween thing might be too young for him but some of the other stuff was definately older kid fun too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003

We all had veterans day off and my dad wanted to take them out for a bit. He fought with me and then had a blast at the park. I get some of it is he is never home. Literally in school from 8-5:30. Thats a LONG day so being home can be a novelty but still.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I think some people will naturally just prefer being at home and there is nothing wrong with that as long as they are able to have family relationships and friendships.  If 2 people got married who both enjoyed coming home after work and sitting together watching a movie, then they would both be happy, right?  I think the problem is when people of different personalities get together.  I am someone who enjoys going out & doing things.  My exH (and we did not get divorced for this reason--it was a much bigger problem) would always have a bunch of reasons why he didn't want to go places--it will be too hot, too crowded, we'll have to wait too long to get a table, etc.  yet he did like doing certain things--we would enjoy going to movies or art museums.  But I could never be with someone who preferred staying home on weekends.  I do like doing some things by myself like reading, doing crosswords, needlework, but I get recharged by going out with friends.  Introverted people need quiet time--so maybe your son is just introverted and needs more time to be by himself too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003

My parents were always on the go. Sometimes during the year my dad work 6 days a week but that day off we'd be up early and somewhere. During the winter we go up north skiing every weekend. DH parents aren't morning people and believe during different points growing up his parents worked different schedules so someone usually worked weekends. Plus if they did do something my in laws hated the highway so his childhood memories of weekend adventures usually involved long car rides to go places that weren't that far so he is content to sit on a couch all weekend. Me I don't want my kids to look back and remember watching football all weekend. DH got his parents anti morning thing too so sometimes I don't want to wait until afternoon to get going so I often do these things without him. Guess in some ways he is just becoming a homebody like dad, but I just feel bad like he is missing things..

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