10 year old son & responsibilities

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
10 year old son & responsibilities
7
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 4:16pm

Hello All


I am usually over on the preemie board for my little lady but recently having some issues with our 10 year old and though I would come see if I can find some help over here. Here is a little info...he is 9 going to be 10 in August. Until last summer he had been an amazing you boy! The summer of 2009 we started him at the same daycare that his new little sister is at. (prior to this he was just sitting at his grandmothers house all day in the summer, basically doing nothing). There are other kids at this daycare that are his age, it is 2 blocks from a very nice park and about 6 blocks from the swimming pool. Last summer I think we made a mistake and gave him to many freedoms. At the beginning we aloud him to go with the other boys to the park and the pool, to make a very long story short, he broke every rule in the book including leaving the daycare without telling anyone, going to other kids' houses, riding his bike around town, etc.... by the end of the summer he was sitting at the daycare with no privileges what so ever. We would try one thing at a time and he would abuse it. This summer we sat down right away at the end of school, went over our family rules and responsibilities. He said that he understood them, even asked questions. The very first day at daycare, he broke the rules. We started this summer with the rules that the only place he was aloud to go is the pool as long as he went with the group. #we were planning to extend the privileges as he

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com  <
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 7:49am

Wow - sounds frustrating.


I am surprised that he manages to leave the daycare so easily. I would also think that it would be hard for them to manage kids coming and going at will.


A couple of ideas:


- take away more privileges. Absolutely no pool, you can remove access to computer, take away video games etc.. Although it sounds like you have done this - perhaps try to focus on a few key rules with severe and lasting consequences. It can be tough, I know.


- maybe the daycare is too boring for him. Have you thought about a age appropriate camp that they do lots of

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 8:31am

I am normally one to be very tough on a misbehaving child, and tend to have a 'no excuses/behave no matter what' kind of attitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 9:09am

Good Morning!


You are both very correct in alot of things. He is going to a daycare ladies home that has a full range of children. We live in a very very small town and there aren't any other options. There are no school age groups, no daycare centers that have school age groups, no camps for hours and hours from here

Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com  <
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 9:31am

"His answer is always "i don't know" he will never tell us why he did something or why he did not follow the rules, etc"


STOP ASKING WHY! :)
He doesn't have a good reason.


Think about this for a moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Tue, 06-29-2010 - 9:37am
THANKS!!!
Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com
Image Hosting by PictureTrail.com  <
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2001
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 10:19am
GREAT reminder! I know I benefit from hearing stuff like this.....simple but oh so true!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 10:30am
Your post made me think too!
Photobucket

Photobucket