13 year old boy and being rude to others...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
13 year old boy and being rude to others...
6
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 6:02pm

Okay, I have a 13 year old son who thinks that money grows on trees, thinks he should get EVERYTHING he wants, hit's his little brother, yells at the 17 year old who of course yells back at him causing huge amounts of tension in the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 7:45pm

I'm not sure that the ADHD has nothing to do w/ this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2002
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 8:30am
kmotto2002 wrote:

Okay, I have a 13 year old son who thinks that money grows on trees, thinks he should get EVERYTHING he wants, hit's his little brother, yells at the 17 year old who of course yells back at him causing huge amounts of tension in the house.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 9:30am

Hi Kelly!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2011
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 5:34pm
wow are you still having a problems with your 13 year old?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 6:54pm

I agree with everything Arryl said, especially about the family meeting. Having the whole family there when you talk about the rules and consequences is really helpful, because no one thinks you made up a rule especially for them.

Tell them 1) you'll say no to stuff because it's not healthy for people to get everything they want, even if you can afford to buy it and 2) hitting is NEVER acceptable and will be swiftly punished; 3) provoking someone to the point where they want to hit is almost as bad and will also be punished and 4) yelling at someone isn't acceptable and will result in the yeller doing the other person's chores.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 10:22am

What in the world am I doing wrong here?? Is it me?? Or is it that he's 13 and being rebellious?

HELP!!!

It's never just one thing- we had one who had tough teenage years and one who sailed through without a problem or even an occasional fight... same parenting.

I will say that unfortunately, for the one that drives you to yelling, yelling is probably the worst response (and believe me, I have BTDT and yelled!). I found that remaining calm and consistent and nipping things in the bud IMMEDIATELY was important. I would step in as soon as possible when I heard things start to ramp up. I know that many parents say "let them fight it out" or "they need to work it out on their own" but if you have one who is going through a tough time, you need to step in before it escalates. You also need to talk to the 17yo- he should be able to rein it in, walk away, etc.