Boys and friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Boys and friends
5
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 8:09am

I haven't posted in a long time and this probably more of a vent then anything. I am the mom of all boys and this is my youngest at 13. He has always been a pretty social kid and I think he is still but I hate the middle school years. As my other kids went through it turns out to be the most difficult time of boys lives. Some kids are like young men and others are still very much kids in their appearance and manners. I just find the middle school years to be when boys (and maybe girls but I have none) have the most social issues and friends start separating into real cliques.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 9:41am

Yes! I think it's a hard time for boys and girls. I had to laugh when I read your post- our dd19 was talking to ds11 about middle school and looks and dressing. She said, "oh, I went through an awkward period, too, so don't worry." When ds11 asked when, she replied, "hmmmm...end of 5th grade until the beginning of 9th grade." And she SO was not joking (I hasten to add, I think that she was always adorable, but....).

She is still best friends with her MS best friend, as is my dd21. However, the "group" with which dd19 spent HS totally changed (she and her bff moved together). She floundered in MS trying on different things (cello anyone? Cross country?

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 9:45am

I don't know. . . our 11yo DS had a bit of a rough weekend and I am feeling the pain myself.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 10:05am

Yes, middle school sort of sucks for boys and girls. Both my kids (DD no longer in middle, DS currently in middle) just have "lunch friends" during those years.... just a couple kids that won't object to their sitting by them to eat. Both are socially strong kids but niether really found anything in their peers to connect to those years. It's not that every single kid was "bad." It's just that environment really brings out the worst in them and you find kids who are normally sweet tempered being nasty and crass just to fit in. I'm sure outside of school, most of those kids are great. They must be because

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 12:00pm

I laughed at "lunch friends" cause my DS went through a period of time where I thought he didn't really have any friends & he'd be sitting by himself at lunch & then he informed me that he did have lunch friends and he was actually very entertaining and everybody thought he was funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 12-12-2011 - 3:37pm

I am glad to see your responses. I am not a hovering mom and am pretty hands off but find the MS years for my kids more anxiety ridden for me then any other time in school. Ds#3 does play hockey and rides dirt bikes, skateboards etc.. so I think he does have outside interests. My dh is always telling me that boys and men are fine with just a few friends and that moms overthink the friends thing. I don't know. I know after a couple of tough years with my oldest 18 yrs, he took off starting in 10th grade. The same for ds#2 16 yrs. Right now he's outside with ds#1 shooting sour apples with his bb gun - having a great time!