Coed sleepovers?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Coed sleepovers?
17
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 2:01pm

DS asked me this summer if he was allowed to sleep over his friend Katie's house.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 6:12pm
I would say no. Its one thing to have other kids over at your house not as his guests (your DD's friends) and its another for him to be the guest of a girl, even if he's sleeping with the younger brother. He is not there as the guest of the brother but of the girls. I just don't think its necessary. You can pick him up late, at 11:00 if you like or later, but there is no need for him to stay over. I would not allow my DD to stay over at a male friend's house, she can stay over, watch a movie, have fun and I'll pick you up. Now yes, she stays over at her friend Izzy's house and Izzy has an older brother, but she's not his guest (and he thinks the girls are annoying LOL).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 11:02am
I would say no--at this age it just isn't healthy or necessary.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 12:15pm

I would echo the sentiments of all the posters.

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 2:36pm
I totally agree, no co-ed sleepovers.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 3:00pm

I did allow my DD to do the church lock-in cause there were enough chaperones there, plus I doubt that kids would be having sex in the gym in front of a lot of other people plus the minister. I also allowed DS to do a coed sleepover w/ his karate group, of course, he was about 7 at the time, so I really wasn't worried about him doing anything inappropriate then, plus the karate instructor (someone you wouldn't want to cross) was the chaperone and slept w/ them in the dojo.

"I told my kids that their first co-ed sleepover will be their wedding night. " Good luck w/ that one. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 3:48pm
I would say no way! It is inappropriate and that is explanation enough.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 1:02am

Okay, I'm going to go against the majority here. I had the same issue come up last year with my ds and a girl that's been a friend of his literally since they were infants (6 months old, no lie). They were really close as toddlers and preschoolers after which I no longer worked with the friend's mom. Anyway, H. lives about an hour away and the kids only get to see each other 4-5 times/year so sometimes we stretch things a little. H. has a younger sister so the three of them had a "sleep-over" in the basement at their house all together once. My ds and H. were never alone and I know her parents checked in on them several times during the night. The little sister is a sweet kid but would certainly tell the parents if anything inappropriate started to happen. (They both still think the opposite sex is "gross" so we're safe for now.) H. slept over night here once as well. We also used the little sister as chaperone trick here that night and it worked really well.

Once they hit 13 or 14 I will probably change the rules but for now it's okay with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 10:23am

Unless you want her normalizing sleeping with boys, innocent or not, I'd say no go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 12:55pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 1:27pm
I could kind of see it where there is a situation of camping or visiting someone who lives far away, as the other person said, but when you live in the same town, I think there's no reason for it. I know nothing is going on now, but at some point, you would have to worry about inappropriate things, but the thing is that you really don't know in advance at what age those things come into their heads so it's better not to let them get used to it and then have to curtail it later.

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