My Ex and I were married 17 years
I remember seeing you post on my Blended Families board in the past.
The best advice I can offer is, do what is best for your son.
I'm a divorce lawyer and this sounds pretty similar to a case I had in the past except that the mom fought the dad's petition for a change in custody & lost.
This sounds very stressful and a nearly impossible situation to deal with in terms of making a decision. I am not divorced so nothing I have to say comes from a btdt experience. All I can say is that the decision must be what's best for your son. I'm not sure how a few weeks in school there and coming back to his regular school would be beneficial, or going to school there til thanksgiving and coming home to NY would be beenficial. This shouldn't be about you getting a break and many parents work and dont have family "helping."
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I really appreciate your reply.