helping DD deal with strict and immature dad..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
helping DD deal with strict and immature dad..
6
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 1:40pm

Ok..while I agree that a 14 year old can have high and low emotions every hour..I am not too thrilled with how H deals with it. H has been known to have a short fuse in anger and can withhold affection/silent treatment and all the stuff.. I have my own issues with his domineering self and his emotional /verbal abuse. I am trying to get the courage to do something but that is a different story.

Now the thing I need help is - how do I help my (almost) 14 year old to deal with it. The times that I leave them alone, I think something happens since when I come home..I find both in a sour mood. At times he has used some strong words at her too which however loud and obnoxious a teen gets, I would not do so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 9:24pm

I don't think that telling your DD that her father is doing something wrong is really the way to go.

Avatar for winter2007
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Registered: 06-17-2006
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 10:41pm

Rather than overtly saying things about dad, how do I keep letting her be subjected to silent treatment, emotional abuse, unfair criticisms, witholding affection..I try to keep neutral but hard to see her going through some of the same thing he subjected me too and I have become immune as I am in the planning stages of leaving and just ignoring him for the moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 6:43pm

I think that if you overhear him saying bad things you her, you need to bring it up w/ him.

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Registered: 06-06-2002
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 8:04am

In my experience the more you get involved, the worse it is.

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Registered: 08-11-2007
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 1:59pm
I agree,especially if the other parent isbeing abusive.A daughter needs to know that accepting abusive overly criticial behavior from a man is not the norm.Now if the parents are disagreeing about dating or something and the dad is against it,but in a normal sort of way,not telling the daughter she looks horrible or shutting the daughter out,g with te dad.If Dale ever was criticial of the way Gabby looked or shutting her out just because he did not get his way you can be sure I would tell Gabby her father was wrong.Disagreeing on how to disipline is one thing,but disagreeing if a father soes not treat his daughter with respect is another.Said daughter can grow up and endupin an abusive relionship.I am happy that my husband adores Gabby and he is probably too much the other way since she is his little princess.I do have a friend who has a dh and everytime the dd's act ike a teen and get moody or do not give him the attetion he wants he will shut them out for days and not talk to them.You can be darn sure I would tell Gabby her dad is wrong in a sititution like that.Yes kids have to show respect,but they are their own people and there are times when teens are sort of selfish.Shutting your kid out because their opinion is different than yours is just wrong and there is nothing wrong with letting your kid know you think it is wrong.

 

Avatar for bradleyteach
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Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 4:47pm

I have to agree.

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