I love him but.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
I love him but.............
5
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 6:15pm

I really do love my 13 year old son, I really do. But, he has become a handful and I don't know what to do with him.

He keeps asking us for OBSCENE amounts of money for a car. WTF??? He's 13, can't drive yet, I don't want him thinking that when (and if) he gets his license that he gets a car.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Mon, 12-20-2010 - 8:57pm
Is he asking for gifts in the way that he kind of knows he won't get that stuff?My 14 year old tells me she wants a $7000 Birken bag,of course she knows she will not get it.As for the homeschool,I could never homeschool Gabby,I doubt she would do anything.Of course you have valid reasons for doing it so I don't know what to tell you.I just know I could not bethat involved in Gabby's school work without me losing my sanity.13 is a hard age.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 8:05am

Maybe he isn't happy being homeschooled anymore & this is his way of telling you. I know I could never homeschool my dd she would drive me crazy plus she wouldn't listn to half of what I had to say. Sit down & talk w/him & find out what he's really thinking & what he really wants. I'm sure he knows that what he's asking for isn't realistic & there may be more to it.

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 10:10am
Kelly, do you guys have any other schools around there, charter schools, or anything? Or a private school that might suit him a little bit better? It takes a lot of work to homeschool kids, I would love to do it, but I know I am not patient enough to do it. And the kids' themselves really have to be of the mindset to do it becuase its not as much interaction with other kids and they need to be self pacing and everything. Are there any other homeschool groups in the area you can hook up with to assist? I know there is a homeschooling board here on IV, that may be a resource to you also.

As for the expensive gifts, I think unless we are actively talking to them about finances and stuff, most kids that age are still very shut off from what things truly cost and how much money we as a family have available to us. I think the Dave Ramsey kids' program is a bit old for him, but it might be worth looking into. But I also think every kid is different, some really are spenders and some are savers, just as we adults are. We just have to figure out how to think of the box to teach each child about finances. I wish I had some suggestions for you on that, unfortunately my only experience is with Jordyn and she's definitely a saver. Can you encourage him to get out and make some of his own money, shoveling snow, or walking dogs or something, and have him look at car ads to see how much they cost, talk to him about insurance and gas prices also and let him conclude for himself just how feasible that sort of thing really is, especially now at 13. Maybe sit down and figure out what he'd "like" for his first car, how much he'd have to earn and save up each year to accomplish that goal, etc. It could easily be part of his homeschooling lesson plans. jordyn took a class called career connections in 8th grade and that was all they did for an entire semester, they worked on resumes, found out what sort of jobs they'd like to have, what salaries they'd earn based on where they wanted to live, then came up with a real life budget and everything, and at the end, they we set up with a person from the community in their chosen job field to spend the day shadowing to see what that career would be like. It was a real eye opener for her.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 4:11pm

You can stop the car talk pretty quickly by either saying that you're not going to buy him a car & he'll have to earn the money or sometimes my DS will start an argument about something that's going to happen way in the future and I just tell him that we're not going to be aruging now about something that won't be happening for a couple of years--we'll just deal w/ it then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 9:17am

These two parts of your message in conjunction made me think:

I took him out of public school because of bullying
AND
He bothers his younger brother to no end. Even after Sam BEGS him to stop, he doesn't and then complains to me that it's not his fault

Of course, I know very little of the story on whatever happened with the bullying - but this made me wonder how much a role he played in whatever was happening.