I could use some advice please.
I would think that if she is a kid who is used to getting A's & B's, the bad grades will be punishment in themselves.
OMG, thank you so much for taking the time to give me advice.
You may have to go back to square one with your daughter.
We went through this with my 11yo DS.
I am so grateful for all the comments and advice.
Thank you, that is a very good point, that maybe at her age suffering the consequences isn't a good idea. Everyone who has answered basically seems to have the same opinion, therefore, I am going to do just what you have all advised.
Last night, she was doing her homework in the kitchen while I was cooking. She is not ADD, but it was seriously difficult for her to stay focused. She would do a problem, get up and dance, do a problem and start singing a song. She just wanted to pop out of her seat and perform
Are you actually sure she's not ADD? Girls often present more scattered, not hyperactive. However, assuming you're sure she's not ADD, I second what everyone else says - give her a hand. It really is a skill, and it sounds like it's lacking in your family gene pool. You also might have just learned coping skills for yourself (and it sounds like you're doing quite well compared to your family) but perhaps you aren't as good at teaching her those skills. I am NOT in any way bashing your parenting - but hey, I'm lousy at hand-eye coordination, so I can try to help my sons throw a ball, but I'm not exactly going to make them pros! It's not a natural skill for me, so it's harder to teach others.
Middle school is SO hard in terms of organization. I have a soon-to-be-12 ds and I hear this story from moms in his class ALL the time!