Moms of daughters

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Moms of daughters
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Wed, 02-04-2009 - 5:23am
Is

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Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 6:59am

Hi Ichoosehope.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 8:29am

I think I need more info as well! My daughter is a bit younger (11) so hasn't shown interest in boys/dating or that sort of thing, but I think my dh pushes her, rather than protects her. We both sort of have the philosophy that being a strong, independent woman is the best protection, so she's been taught to say NO, to stand up for her beliefs, to be physically strong, etc.

Now, if anything or anyone were threatening her, or if a boy were manhandling her, I know he'd definitely "protect" her, but he isn't one of those overbearing dads that coddles and won't allow out of the house.

That said, we believe strongly in chivalry in our family, so my boys open doors for both dd and myself, we enter rooms first, etc, both my boys (dh and ds) were taught to honor women and treat them with respect. My son has been taught to protect his sister when necessary, but she's meaner than him, so I don't he's had to that often!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 10:03am
I have a friend that is around alot. He keeps telling me that Jackies little boy friends need to be watched a little more closely since they play together at the house. they need to be watched more around the computer and told that their behavior is a little too inappropriate. (is that what you mean?)
Avatar for momofkaytiandkeeli
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 2:02pm

*sigh*

Renee'

Mom to Kayti and Keeli and furbabies Meggie,  Lucie and Pixie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 02-04-2009 - 4:09pm

If you mean protective in an ordinary, fatherly sort of way, yes, he is. But if you mean a "lock her in a convent with a big high wall" sort of way, then no.


Then again, she's not really interested in dating right now. There are boys she likes, but she knows neither she nor they are mature enough to go out, so she says she's waiting a few years until "they grow up." (her words, LOL)


I think if she were really worldly and boy-crazy, DH might worry a bit more. I also think this has a lot to do with how he was as a young man. He was raised by a very gentlemanly father and is himself a gentleman, so he expects other boys to be that way, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 1:05pm

>>But if you mean a "lock her in a convent with a big high wall" sort of way, then no


Yeah, that's kind of more what I was thinking. And I mean when your DD is of the age to start taking notice of boys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 1:34pm
I didn't experience too much of this since DD never really had a BF in high school (I can't understand why). But I know when she went to her junior prom, my ex came over to the house to see her dressed up. She had a black halter gown w/ silvery sparkles around the neckline. I thought she looked like she could be on the Oscar red carpet, while I could see that Dad was thinking "how can my little girl be all grown up and looking sexy?" It definitely bothers men more than women when the girls grow up.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 1:42pm
Hey Tam, nice to "see" you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 2:36pm

Hey Liz and Arryl - hi and good to "see" you around.


Some moms don't think it's a good thing for dads to be protective. They've said it was too 1950s and wouldn't it be awful if the DD never dated?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 02-05-2009 - 3:34pm
I think as much as they "say" that, in their hearts they know their little girls are going to date and all the other stuff that goes with it eventually.
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