My 10 year old girl is changing

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
My 10 year old girl is changing
5
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 7:13pm
Help, I became a single parent 3 years ago, since then my daughter has almost become a nightmare child, at home she listens to nothing and argues and silks about everything, I left her father because of domestic abuse and have had trouble getting him to be a consistant parent, now have been told today he doesn't want to see the children anymore, this whole thing has hit my daughter hard, and now she is shutting off from me, she has had a constant issue with a girl at school who is a bad influence she is in my eyes too old for her age, but my daughter keeps navigating to her, and refuses to break the friendship off, no matter what I say to her or how I explain it she won't listen, I have grounded her so many times it's just not worth it anymore, I'm beginning to feel like she hates me for leaving her father ( he has played mind games with her ) I am so worried I'm losing her respect and trust, I struggle with the issue surrounding boys and sex and am devistated that she knows things I feel she is too young to cope with( this has come from the girl I have an issue with) hence the reason I am keen to end the friendship, I'm worried if I continue to confront her over these issues I will loose my little girl and she will completely shut me out, I have an 8 year old son who shows nothing but love and respect for his mummy, I just want my little girl back, not the child who seems to have short term memory loss the second she leaves the house, I don't want to take her fun away but how else do I protect her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-1999
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 9:28am
I would seek some counselling for her. She's incredibly angry and she needs someone to help her process it all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 10:46am

have you thought about play therapy. it might do her and you a world of good. I had a lot of problems when my daughter started going overnight to her "fathers" house. Its not easy. But hang in there.

Welcome to the board.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 11:42am
Definitely get her some professional counseling. How terrible must it be to have your dad say that he doesn't want to see you any more! So she has to deal w/ this feeling of rejection and of course she is going to take it out on you, because who else is safe to take it out on? The danger is that girls who don't have a dad in their lives might be the ones who end up looking to boyfriends to fill that gap. I also think the more you tell her not to hang out w/ this "friend", the more attractive this girl is going to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 1:29pm
I made a docs appointment for her today, I didn't want to take that route with her but I do know it's the right one we had a heart to heart today after school and she has asked to ring her dad, great another heartbreak for her, lots more promises to for him to break, I've said to her that she can trust me, and I don't want to fight with her anymore, we've agreed a clean slate, I've explained the "going out" restrictions still apply but she can earn my trust again by talking about her feelings more, and not hiding them, so we are friends again for now, thanks for the replies :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2001
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 10:54pm

I agree w/the others, I think it might do her good to have some counseling.

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