popular vs nerd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
popular vs nerd
17
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 5:17pm
hi. I haven't been here for a few years. i just remembered what how great it is. Anyways i am so confused on the popular group verses the "nerd herd".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
In reply to: kjwig
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 9:44pm

I know quite a few very wonderful young people who proudly proclaim NOT being in the "cool" crowd.
Because, you are right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to: kjwig
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 10:14pm

Yes, you are right. He seems happy and does have friends but doesn't seem to have a "best" friend, but that's ok. He is very active and has outside activities, sports, etc. I think i am just disappointed that this still goes on in school. I remember being a "nerd" in middle school but became popular in high school . I had a good school experience and i just want that for all my kids i guess. I am going to try and hang back and see how things go the rest of the year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
In reply to: kjwig
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 7:30am
As long as he is happy and he has friends I would not worry.Being "popular" does not actually mean you are going to have a wonderful school experience.Especially if you can not be your self and you are doing stuff to please th so called popular kids,what ever that means where you are.WHat is wrong with being a "nerd"if he is happy and triving.You don't need a ton of friends.If your ds has a few kids he hangs out with and he talks to you I would not worry.Don't make him think that he has to be friends with the "popular kids to be happy.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: kjwig
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 11:32am

I think you have to let him go and go in the direction he feels most comfortable in and most acceptable in.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
In reply to: kjwig
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 4:01pm
I don't think the label will necessarily follow him to high school. Most high schools have so many middle schools and junior highs feeding into them that all the dynamics change when the kids get there anyway. One of the girls who had been quite popular at my junior high went to the same high school I did, and she was pretty much a nobody there. (I probably should not admit that this pleased me, but it did -- she'd been so mean that I thought it served her right.) As long as your son has friends and is basically happy with them, he should be fine, aside from the general social angst that just seems to go along with middle school.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: kjwig
Sat, 11-22-2008 - 5:57pm

Here on the MS Coast, most towns have 3 or 4 elementary schools, one or 2 middle schools, and one high school.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: kjwig
Sun, 11-23-2008 - 10:18am
If he is not being picked on and is basically happy, I would totally not worry about it! Trust me. I have one kid who is in the "popular" group, and it would be SO much easier if he was in the "nerd" group! He is just constantly worrying about what other people think about him, and it's awful. While they aren't as bad as girls, the "cool" boys can be ridiculously mean to each other, and you can't believe how competitive they are. I know he is going to be much more susceptible to peer pressure than my younger son, who marches to his own drum and leans more to the "nerd" side of things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
In reply to: kjwig
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 12:23am

I don't know if they have this distinction at Kurt's school. Probably. The boys all seem to hang out together still, so that is a good thing.

I wouldn't push it. When I was in grade 11, I had a group of friends. We weren't like losers or rejects but there were popular people. I became friends with one of the super popular girls because we both had boyfriends on the hockey team and pretty much dumped all my friends to hang out with the cool kids in grade 12. it was all so superficial though and now x many years later, I don't talk to any of the cool people anymore but I do still keep in touch with some of my original friends. Maybe it doesn't mean anything, but I think it does.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
In reply to: kjwig
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 9:24am

Maybe it is because my dd belongs to the "nerd herd" as you call it, but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
In reply to: kjwig
Mon, 11-24-2008 - 11:42am

What offended you? The term she used (which I'd never heard before) or the fact that her son is bothered by being labeled as 'nerdy'? Or that mom is?


I can see why mom wouldnt want her son stuck with a label that can define him throughout the rest of his school years.

 

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