Shared bathroom use with DS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Shared bathroom use with DS?
6
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 8:27am

There are three in my family -- DH, DS15 and myself -- in a small house with one bathroom. My son occasionally will run past our bedroom and into the bathroom naked but usually covers up, but only because we've told him to; He'd go naked in front of us and wouldn't care, if we didn't force him to cover up when appropriate. So, he's a "free bird."


Sometimes I'm in the bathroom with the door open putting on my makeup, and he'll be telling me about his day from the other room, then walk into the bathroom

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 8:48am

I don't know if it's normal or not.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 10:31am

Ah, tricky subject actually. IME everyone has a different tolerance and comfort level with this. Me, I am very (probably overly) modest, while my dh doesn't have a modest bone in his body.

When I read this post, I would be very uncomfortable with this situation, and I automatically thought that 15 was MUCH too old for this type of display. However, I know without a doubt that my dh would think nothing of it. So who's right? Neither one!

So, here's what I would do. I would explain to my son that you are uncomfortable seeing him naked and that out of respect for you, to please cover up and to use another bathroom please. Explain to him pretty much what I said above, that different people have different comfort levels and that while you are glad he feels so comfortable with himself, that you were raised to be more modest and he needs to understand and respect that.

I personally think his and my dh's comfort is more normal and natural and I wish I was more relaxed about it, but I am what I am, so the family respects that. My 14 year old has developed a natural modesty around me but I believe he'll be pretty laid back all in all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 10:37am

I wanted to add that in my family, NO ONE does bodily functions in front of the others. Icky icky icky. There was a recent and interesting article on this the other day, things you do not do in front of your spouse (pick your nose, have a bm, pop a zit, etc). My dh and I do NONE of those by mutual agreement. I know many couples who are fine with it, so again this is a personal preference, but if you are one who does not feel OK with it your wishes should be respected.

So to me the nakedness and the peeing are two different subjects. I do NOT want to see anyone else pee, thankyouverymuch (I get enough of that at work!), so I would separate the two topics and let him know that there are people out there who don't believe it's proper to perform bodily functions in front of others. I would absolutely not allow him to pee in front of me, again for differing reasons than just the nakedness.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 11:20am

I may be in the minority here...but we are very open at our house. The kids close the door ALWAYS. I don't BUT I only use the bathroom in my bedroom. We are pretty open about nakedness also. Again, the kids are more modest than I am.


I don't think it's strange at all. Its about your comfortability. If you don't like it..tell him to stop.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 3:07pm

Nudity I don't mind, but body functions? Ick! That is just nasty!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 4:39pm
Neither one of my kids would run around naked--my 13 yr old DS will at least wrap a towel around himself. But even the other night 19 yr old DD was in the shower and DS wanted to go to the bathroom and he went in the same bathroom where she was taking a shower. Meanwhile I was yelling to him to use the bathroom in the basement (which noone likes to use). If he started to take his pants off or go in front of me, I would tell him to wait and run out of the BR. I don't want to see anyone's bathroom functions and I'm very shy about nudity.