Should I force 14 yo dd to join an activity

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
Should I force 14 yo dd to join an activity
15
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 5:19pm

I've been struggling with this for awhile now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1999
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 5:52pm

Seeing as 8th grade is almost over, I would at least make sure she stays active in the clubs she is already involved with.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 6:33pm

I probably wouldn't bother with it for the rest of this school year. If she feels she needs some down time, let her take it. High school is a new world where clubs meet weekly, there are lots of academic teams, atheletics, events and outside school social activities too.

I do feel it's good for high schoolers to do something if they are college minded. They don't have to do EVERYTHING but an activity that shows they have an interest and have put some longterm effort into learning about it and developing skills is something you want on a college application.

I'm not totally againt requiring an activity here or there. I did force my DS to take swim lessons when he was 9. He was very angry but in our area, people have pools and he didn't let not being able to swim stop him from getting into them so yes, he HAD to take lessons. If my child were becoming too sedentary and gaining unhealthy weight, I'd probably enforce an activity too (though not tell them why.) If they were planning on college and in high school, yes, I'd require something. However,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 6:39pm

I was thinking along these lines myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 3:53pm

I think things will probably change once she's in high school.

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 5:35pm

High School is full of activities and she may find something that interests her there. She actually will have to.

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 10:35pm
I would find something, book club, knitting club, try a new sport, scouts,etc... My dd sent out 4 applications to schools and received 4 acceptance letters with very nice scholarship offers. All mentioned her clubs and sports, some included scouts and teaching Sunday school. Grades are not enough anymore.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 7:10am

Maybe the best thing to do is wait until next year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 10:24am

Would it be wrong to "make" her join something. If not, any suggestions on how to do it without dragging her kicking and screaming to it??

I may be in the minority, but I would require her to join something (force seems like a harsh word, but I guess I would force it). We require our kids to have a plan for exercise/sports (one does karate, one does soccer) and have at least one outside interest (chorus, cheerleading, math club, volunteering, youth group, whatever...). The first is because we want them to stay in shape. Honestly, I'd be okay if they just had a plan to walk for half an hour every day, but so far we have done an activity. The second is because I think that they need to think about something outside of themselves, learn new things, talk to people, etc. We try to model this by doing the same things ourselves. I don't think putzing around the house

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 2:16pm

We actually just had a discussion (ok, it was more like a minor argument) this morning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 3:50pm

Ask her what she would like to do.

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