Teen girl attitude: does it get easier?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Teen girl attitude: does it get easier?
9
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 5:44pm

I've been reading a lot of posts and it's so good to see other moms going through the same things! My daugther will be 14 soon and she's overall a sweet kid and has never been any trouble at all. That said we do get the "attitude" sometimes and it just kills me! Not just because it's so annoying and uncalled for, but also because it feels like my sweet girl is sometimes not so sweet! Ugh. I know this is just part of it all, but how do you all cope? Should I say something every time I feel the 'tude coming on or just try to be sympathetic? Not sure how I'm going to survive the teen years coming up! Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Sun, 10-10-2010 - 9:29am

A lot of times I won't say anything, I'll just turn around and walk away. My dd will be 15 in a couple of weeks and while she is a total delight and a wonderful daughter sometimes the stress and horemones get the best of her and she is snappy or cranky. Instead of picking a fight and making it worse for all of us I will just walk away. She always gets the point and I don't have to yell.

Now I won't say I'm perfect, sometimes it gets the best of me and I will tell her to watch the way she talks (stands, rolls her eyes, etc.) and if its really bad she gets an earful.

Hang on mom, it will be a bumpy ride, but worth every second!

fence.jpg picture by oct2028

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 10-10-2010 - 4:26pm

The ages of 13-14 are pretty much the max for the teen girl attitude--after that I think it does calm down a little.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 9:24am

Welcome to the board!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 10-11-2010 - 8:53pm

I think this depends on the girl. My daughter has never responded well to an authoritarian approach. If I really want her to comply and be respectful, then I cannot use a "my way or the highway" attitude, although this works well with other personality types. She expects to be reasoned with even when I think she is being irrational.

For example, she got angry with me for being "overprotective." I asked her to give me a specific example of this, and to come up with an approach that she would have found acceptable. This opened a dialogue that I don't think we could have had if I had just said, "this is the way it is."

The one thing I do put my foot down about is attitude. Anyone in this house who expects to be treated as an adult (and basically, this is what all teens want) has to demonstrate courtesy to everyone, regardless of age. Mouthing off means you're a bratty child and you will be treated accordingly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 7:32am
Thank you Christi, that's probably the approach that will work best here. It's so hard to see them growing up (and I can now certainly better sympathize with my own mother!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 7:33am
That is a good point, thanks. It's nice to know it's not just me. That is pretty funny about her younger brother's comment and also to know it's only temporary. Does your daughter have a specialty in nursing she's looking at? I know that's one job I couldn't do but applaud all those who can!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 7:35am
thank you for the nice welcome Tracy. We have a pretty close relationship so sometimes I do talk it out with her and find out if there is anything specific causing the attitude (bad day at school, tired, etc.) and also let her know that her tone sets the tone for others and does hurt people's feelings. A lot of times I think she truly doesn't realize how she sounds, but sure is difficult!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 7:37am
I am glad to hear that having a dialogue is working for some situations. We try to do this too, but sometimes it's so irrational that it's maddening. I think it's a good idea to have the concept of the appropriate attitude for the house. Thank you for your reply!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 10-30-2010 - 10:51am

I think she is looking at pediatrics.