Teens & porn

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2011
Teens & porn
6
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 10:59pm
My 14 year old son has had numerous problems with Internet porn. We've tried restrictions on the computer, blocking sites (there's millions) taking things away. None of it has worked. Now he's sneaking onto his dads computer while were not home. Not only has the trust been broken since he knows he can't be in his dads space (man cave) but he is still breaking the rules. I think the first time we caught him was shocking because it's gay porn. But getting past that & letting him know, whatever kind of porn he's looking at, being 14 years old, it's inappropriate.
I'm not sure what kind of consequences should be given this time. Please help with suggestions.
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 5:40pm
I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I have no btdt advice. Do you attend church or temple? I think I would bring my ds into our pastor to have some family couseling. I would let him explain how exploited these people might be, how it affects your views of sex, marriage, etc...

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 8:36pm

I agree with 2kidsmom. Have your rabbi, pastor or priest talk to him about the destruction of families due to porn. They've seen plenty of this in the couples in their congregation, I guarantee it. If you don't have a religious life, keep talking to him yourselves as a couple (you should do this anyway) about how porn damages people. There are always victims, and he needs to know that by viewing this crap, he's participating in a crime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 7:35am

I'm sure there are other good web site filtering services available, but a free one my family has used and liked is K9 web protection (download it online).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2011
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 9:38am
Thx for all the advice. He is starting counseling for the 1st time this evening. Even though we are not religious people we did sit down with him & discuss the situation. His consequences are to write a couple 2 page papers. One on Ethics, one on respecting others boundaries & one on why porn is unacceptable. Trying to teach values or principles to live by is a lot harder than setting rules.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 9:59am
Welcome to the board. It sounds like you have something good to start with. While I agree with the others that the porn issue is definitely what needs to be focused on because of the extend of it already, the boundaries and trust issues that come out of it are also something that really need to be focused on. Hugs, let us know how things progress!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 10-19-2011 - 4:18pm

Hi 2497yoo, I'm seeing the porn use as a symtom of something bigger.