Hello again, everyone....
I'd talk with both the principal and your grandfather, and ask that the plan be changed.
Since it is already set up it might be difficult to change at the last minute and might be considered disrepectful of the VFW members.
That is my husband's view - suck it up and do it - I just hate to see her SO upset over something that is supposed to be rewarding.
I don't have a problem with these types of events (not that I'm "honored" with any regularity, lol!) but I think that the "suck it up" advice STINKS! It sounds like your dd is really miserable about this- not feeling a little awkward or not knowing what to say, but "I feel like I'm going to throw up" miserable (actually, she sounds like, " I AM going to throw up" - perhaps on the presenter). If I were you, I'd call your grandfather tonight and lay down the law- say, "I love you and I'm so happy that you wanted to do something special to honor dd, but this just won't work. Dd has an anxiety issue and the thought of being in this type of situation is literally making her ill. I am contacting the principal tonight to let him/her know that I will be keeping dd at home until we speak and I make sure that dd won't be put into this situation."
NO ONE can really know how your dd is feeling, but it sounds like this is way more than just your average nerves or teenage embarrassment. Most professionals advise NOT forcing shy/anxious kids into new situations,
I'm going to contact the principal this morning.
There are uncomfortable situations and then there are panic inducing situations. I don't think this is something that should be forced on anyone.
Even in adulthood, people will avoid public reception of awards.
How did everything work out?
I found out they are scheduling the award for next week.