10 yr old afraid to go to sleep w/out me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
10 yr old afraid to go to sleep w/out me
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:37pm
I have a 10 yr old boy that is afraid to go to sleep without me in the room. He shares a room with his two brothers, 8 1/2, and 19 mos. We recently remodeled our house, and had to stay in an extended stay motel for 10 months. Therefore, we all slept in the same room. Since we have been back in the house, (it was the starting of summer vacation) he has fallen asleep on the sofa, and then I move him to his bunk bed. How can I help him fall asleep on his own? I need to address this right away, as school starts in two weeks! The big boys need to be in bed at 9pm, and the baby falls asleep in our bed, and lately that has been pretty late. The big boys need their rest. The schedule with the baby will have to be moved up as well, because we all have to get up and get the big boys to the school bus!! Any ideas of how to tackle this? My only idea, is to let the boys fall asleep with the light on for awhile. My 8 1/2 yr old has NO problems!! Any advice would be great! Janice
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:59pm

Hello Janice,

Glad you found us and joined right in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:19pm

I have to agree with Sherri, have you spoke with him regarding what he is actually scared of?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:31pm

A good way to separate from sleeping together is to

have child sleep 1st night in a sleeping bag beside your bed.Next night move it 2 feet away, then next night move it 2 feet away again....do this every night till he is in his own room.

This is usually for toddlers BUT..it could still work.

I also think its important to "believe" your sons fears....THEN work together to dissolve them. Your son BELIEVES his fears and if you discount them by saying he is acting foolish...this doesnt help.He may start thinking hes going crazy LOL

Have him read the story of the dream catcher below....and then buy him one

I told a child this story and she asked with sarcasm "A spider talked???" and I replied "It is the same as being able to walk on water.It was a miracle"


Dream Catchers

Long ago when the world was young, an old Lakota spiritual leader was on a high mountain and had a vision.

In his vision, Iktomi, the great trickster and teacher of wisdom, appeared in the form of a spider.

Dreamcatchers are made by local Native American artistsIktomi spoke to him in a sacred language that only the spiritual leaders of the Lakota could understand.

As he spoke Iktomi, the spider, took the elder's willow hoop which had feathers, horse hair, beads and offerings on it and began to spin a web.

He spoke to the elder about the cycles of life ... and how we begin our lives as infants and we move on to childhood, and then to adulthood. Finally, we go to old age where we must be taken care of as infants, completing the cycle.

"But," Iktomi said as he continued to spin his web, "in each time of life there are many forces -- some good and some bad. If you listen to the good forces, they will steer you in the right direction. But if you listen to the bad forces, they will hurt you and steer you in the wrong direction."

He continued, "There are many forces and different directions that can help or interfere with the harmony of nature, and also with the great spirit and-all of his wonderful teachings."

All the while the spider spoke, he continued to weave his web starting from the outside and working toward the center.

When Iktomi finished speaking, he gave the Lakota elder the web and said..."See, the web is a perfect circle but there is a hole in the center of the circle."

He said, "Use the web to help yourself and your people to reach your goals and make good use of your people's ideas, dreams and visions.

"If you believe in the great spirit, the web will catch your good ideas -- and the bad ones will go through the hole."

The Lakota elder passed on his vision to his people and now the Sioux Indians use the dream catcher as the web of their life.

It is hung above their beds or in their home to sift their dreams and visions.

The good in their dreams are captured in the web of life and carried with them...but the evil in their dreams escapes through the hole in the center of the web and are no longer a part of them.

They believe that the dream catcher holds the destiny of their future.

Visit the Navajo Co-op Store Dream Catchers.

Qote from......Navajo health and literacy programs

The Gathering Place

(505) 862-8075 or (800) 862-5763

Fax: (505) 862-8809